Visionary

2009-05-10T12:04:00.000+08:00

I FEEL SO GAO WEI WHEN I'M READING MY OWN BLOG. ROFL.
so gay.

2009-05-09T02:43:00.002+08:00

Saturday, 9th
May. Vesak Day

Tattooing.
After a complete full year of considering, I'm still considering whether it's time to get it all up or to delay it for another few months. There's much to consider, I don't wanna be jobless just because of what I'm gonna put or rather, an art which I think it's nice.

A picture, one it " sticks " on you, it's gonna follow you till your fucking grave. I'm not gonna put those budget tattoos like you know who they are. I'm craving for it! But then again, my mom is against my idea, as for my father, I have yet to ask him. It comes and go, for a moment, I'm dying to get it up, another, hesitation gets the better of me.

It's time for a Father and Son talk...

P.S Happy Birthday Jie.
PAY DAY!

2009-05-05T21:53:00.002+08:00

Monday, 4th
May.

Another kind of typical " sickness " that arise in Singapore. Swine flu. But unfortunately, it's not as dangerous as SARS, otherwise, everyone would have off and shake their balls at home.

Not to forget, if National Service mens are doing temperature taking, I'm sure 99.99% of the other Singaporeans are taking their daily temperature as well. What a way to earn some cash just by selling thermometer, from $5, it's selling at $12.90 now. Thank goodness it's only sold at $1.80 CREDIT in camp. But.. it's out of stock, just like all the other stores that are selling it.

Camp is getting boring nowadays, gym is closed, more " sai kang " to be done. And it's damn fucked up. I wanna walk down the road at East Coast road and relive my moments when I was a child.

Turn back time to 2006. I wanna live in my childhood again...!

2009-05-03T02:32:00.002+08:00

Sunday, 3rd.
May.

Another long weekend for the whole company. No doubt everyone is enjoying their weekends while I was.. well, same old same old.

Anyway, I'm seriously losing touch in blogging. " Just type out what you feel like saying. " <- Some loser told me so. But I just couldn't blog like I used to.. Or was my past fucked up? Pretty much I guess.

The ignorance from your friends towards you isn't getting any better. It kills you COMPLETELY. And literally. You get so bored that you always have the sensation of hanging yourself just right outside your window displaying your whole body from whatever floor you're living at. From a point of view, it looks cool though, but I'll pass.

Complained about being stuck in camp is boooooring, yet outside.. I can even count the numbers of friends I can really, and like, really, ask them out for dinner only. Am I growing old? Or I'm beginning to get so damn anti-social?

My ego is killing me. I need a bang in my head.

545++++ days to ORD.
645++++ days to PSB Private School of business management.
12893712893+++ days to owning a car of my own.

AND I'M GONNA DRIVE RANDY ONG TO TEKONG THE DAY HE GETS ENLISTED IN NATIONAL SERVICE! HAHAHAHAH.

2009-04-22T22:56:00.003+08:00

Wednesday, 22th.
April.

This is so random, but I miss my grandfather badly.

I hate the army, but love the place. Hello, Hi, sians.

2009-04-19T22:06:00.003+08:00

Sunday, 18th.
April.

Hi, I'm very lazy to blog. Bye.

2009-04-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

Wednesday, 15th.
April.

Live run today! But due to my laziness, I join the walking party. And I always do. Haven't been running since I got out from Tekong. Instead, we(walking party), took a slow walk to headquarter to collect I-net key.

Life in NS is boring yet torturing. I'm lazy to elaborate any further. But my bed buddy Karenjit is back! Finally, someone to kill time with. Celebrated CO's birthday with a song and a pathetic cake to finish it off.

And blah blah blah... Story goes on till 1730. Book out! Thanks to my medical appointment, I'm back home to sleep on my comfy bed. Time flies really quick when you're in camp, for some reasons, I think... Well anyway.
My blogging skills are rusty. rofl.

" What is done by day always appear by night. "

Signing off,
Melvin.

2009-04-13T21:08:00.002+08:00

Monday, 13th.
April.

Reported to camp yesterday at 2130. Tired, so I call it a night at 2200. Was sleeping alone again, but fortunately, I'm a no-fear guy! Yeah. Woke up at 0630 today to conduct some shit live run, exhausted, during the break given after live run, couldn't get to sleep. Irritating fuck.

Whole day was nothing but laying down on my bed in bunk till 1730 before our daily routine call. Ate dinner alone, again. Bunkmates didn't return to camp today and they won't be tomorrow. Sadist! I'm going insane.

NOW! 2100, watching television in the mess room with some of the other mates. Hungry.. But luckily, they ordered pizza for supper.

" Kindness is the only language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear. "

Signing off,
Melvin.

2009-04-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

Good Friday, 10th.
April.

Woke up with shag eyes, did nothing much till noon when both cousin Jeremy and myself prepared ourselves and went to Tampines to meet up with my parents for lunch and took a walk in the new shopping mall Tampines 1. The queue for Uniclo is ridiculous. So we decided to pass. Bought a new jeans at topshop. :D

Anyway, the rain was spoiling the whole Good Friday mood. Took the train down to Plaza Singapura and met up with Jem's girlfriend, Dragg and KianChew. Watched the movie Sniper. It was okayyyyyyy. Won't comment much on the movie. Watch it for yourself.

9pm, dinner time.
Went to eat my long time favourite bai mian at PS's foodcourt. And this was when the cam-whoring started because non of them know what to do after dinner...

2009-04-10T00:10:00.004+08:00

Friday, 10th.
April.

I'm back! Reason for my return was due to the boredom I'm having in camp. But I'm too lazy to blog about today.

Basic theory for today;
Met up with Jem and his girlfriend for a movie before heading to Changi Airport to meet Miss Sotong to collect the long rotted birthday present.

It's been so long since I last received such a lovely birthday present from someone I have known via online for more then 6years. And credits for the new skin; Yuzhen, Miss Sotong.

2009-04-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

I NEED MORE HAN ZHI TO BE MORE CUTE :D

Sign off,
Mr. Han Zhi

2008-10-21T03:45:00.002+08:00

It's fucking 2 weeks since school started and my sleeping time is back to schooldays hours. Like what the fuck. Phobia of returning to school is keeping my sleeping timing back. Oh my gosh. And I thought sleeping from 11pm-6am during holidays was gonna get me prepared for school. LMAO! Like whatever.

Anyway! Though I must say, I was quite SAD to not step into class last week. I enjoyed the outing with Toh's friend whom I enjoy to hang around with. Perhaps we're open minded. Dragg, Toh, Kc, Jem, Kc. The outing groups are quite random, but I'm certain dragg and myself were always there during this outing. It won't be fun without us. rofl.

Being in pub for this past 2 weeks is seriously burning a damn big fucking hole in my wallet. And I can't believe we actually make friends with a Taiwan girl. Goodness, what on earth is going on here. Not that I'm condemning her. But I'm sure she is much more fun to hang out with other then those typical bitches walking around town. Ohhhhhhhh My Fucking... As day pass, NS is around the corner. My hair.. Noooooooo.

On the other hand, I can't wait for NS. The urge in my ego is corrupting my mind badly. Dragg brought colours to my life. LMAO. Omg dragg, this you gotta see. It's being so damn long since my phone ring. You brought back what I used to believe. HAHA, we're getting gay here. -_-'

Oh well, I love the outings even though it's a little off budget. Who gives a shit. :D

2008-10-15T02:01:00.003+08:00

Love or Lust?

Duration of time spent together can and can not tell the difference between love or lust, ever thought of it as a crush? I doubt, never been treated well before in your life from the opposite sex can lead to a disappointing misunderstanding which you hope it wouldn't happen. And after experiencing the deeply disturb emotion, you'll slowly feel the aching inside.

Just by looking at the current situation from the lady whom you thought you could hold on to doing a completely amazing attitude towards another person instead of you before or.. anyway.. It doesn't really matter if the other party isn't putting the effort. It takes 2 hand to clap, and if by letting it go reduce the pain and sorrow. You just gotta move on from where you were left out from them. The definition between Love and Lust is way to obvious for you to even miss the understanding between the 2 words. It'll be just a lust if doing to whatever that pleased them in a completely wrong way. As for Love, you should know what it is all about.

Though some may have being in a one sided wishful thinking on their part, it's time to learn how to let it go. Maybe 5years down the road, you'll live to regret, then again, you'll laugh at what you been through during the younger days. Nothing is gonna happen if you don't make the 1st move. Pride doesn't have much position when it comes to a relationship. But if rejected, live with it.

It'll hurt more then you expect if you'll to force them into a relationship with nothing but arguments. Unfortunately, you don't want that to happen. But doing that, you've to just let them be what they are right now.

The words that were said will always be there. I lay down my pride just by doing that.

P.S TOH! It's time to join me! Let's gooooooooooooooooooooo

2008-10-10T13:07:00.005+08:00

Today's POST IS FOR 18 AND ABOVE!

But knowing you people, you will just ignore the warning. Anyway...
If you're reading this blog right now, it'll be better if you understand hokkien or rather.. Anyway, what you're about to see/hear is very vulgar. For those good boys/good girls, I advise you people to close this web page immediately! To avoid being corrupted with what you're about to see.

As for those who understand.. Enjoy the short clip and listen to yourself laughing like you never did before.(That's if you understand the language) (:

2008-10-06T10:26:00.002+08:00

What a lifestyle.

It's been 2weeks since there's no job that will take me in. Unfortunately. 2 week straight lifestyle was bored, pathetic and completely lifeless. DotA, Sleep, Eat. But that's gonna change this Thursday when Toh is back! Goodness, finally. How time flies, it's been 2months since he was gone, my life time friend. Though some said friends come and go. Fortunately, Randy and Toh are the only friends that were with me since childhood. I miss the old days when mobile was ringing and friends asking for an outing. If only I had that chance to organise outing like I used to. But sadly, I left the gaming world(Maple). And that will no longer be a return. For some reason, I can't wait for National Service.. I really need to kill some time in my life. It wasn't a good choice when picking school to "study" knowing the friends are limited, not that I'm complaining about "Friends come and go", but at least there will be some there to kill time together.

It'll be another long walk before the mobile will ring once again, till then, I have completely nothing to do in my current life. Jobs are rejecting me due to my appearance which I think is completely a rubbish excuse, but I'll live with it.
The only time I enjoyed this month was Hari Raya, even though it was my parents' friend that I were talking to. But somehow I enjoy hanging out with mature people. Due to some reasons, but at my age can't take my talks or rather, some may say "I'm being rude just by saying that". For some reason, only people who understand me well or rather, have the same thinking can click with me very well, otherwise, they'll just show me their ignorance which I find it uber childish. But when it applies to adults, they'll just laugh at whatever I said, maybe it's in the genes that my father pass it on to me. People laughing, and having a wonderful time is a blessing. I don't see a need to walk, shop and find interesting outing just to make people happy to be with you.

- DotA Chat -

Krade. : No girl damn bored.
DoS)SanctuarY : No choice, Singapore girls damn humji.

Lol at that. Yunie is the 2nd online friend that I'm very close to besides Nezha.

2008-09-30T10:41:00.002+08:00

The uber fairytale..

It came about knowing the opposite party via e-mail sending, and taking progress to an online chatting room before the numbers have being exchanged. It was like everyone thinks, it's just a leisure program to make oneself relax from those stressful things in work/school/part-time job etc. Some went to an extreme of meeting outside for a cup of tea and so. An uber get-to-know each other better. It will never occur a sensation feeling when having the intercepting with each other unless for certain reason.

The 1st met up brought nothing but an impression from the outlook. It's only when the meet up gets regular before the sensation feeling was put into the matter. From friends, and some, lovers. The odds are always 0.1% of each party to get together. Not that it's impossible. But it's just an uber fairytale. Being through this fairytale for a short period before going separate ways. The memories will always be there whenever something look/played during the togetherness. But the fact is, it'll never last. Definition of " Lovers " via Internet and getting together in less then weeks are usually called crush instead of you know what.

Whereby some are different, they gave you a chance to really became friends in reality before stomping a huge disappointment and leave you alone like a piece of trash they're done with after clearing up the food. It's both a good and bad thing. But let's not elaborate further...

2008-09-26T18:27:00.002+08:00

Being older is a blessing, then again...

It's been running through my mind for the past few days after what happened 2days back when I asked my mom for some cash to buy stuffs. During the younger days, when asking for parents for money, questions will be asked like what was the money for or whatever do you need it. Never did I thought asking for cash nowadays are so much easier. Expected to receive $20bucks instead of $50 when I request for some cash to buy food. It's only after she passed me the money without asking what was I gonna buy besides food that kept me up with this post. Maybe during the younger days, we're childish and naive till parents wouldn't give us money unlike now, when we're older, repaying money for your responsibility.

Even Grandma is doing the same, it's either in the genes that my mom and grandma share, or.. I don't know. But at the end of the day, no matter what reason is behind those questions, I still love both grandma and mom very much. Grandma's getting old, but I hope she stays with me forever..

2008-09-21T12:07:00.002+08:00

It's okay to pamper yourself.

Went out to Orchard with cousin and his girlfriend late evening today. Went to takashimaya for dinner before heading to find whatever the couples were trying to look for at Gucci. They found a bag of their liking and was drooling all over the bag. I was making a guess that the price of the bag was $500, but to my shock. It's double then expected. Fuck. Didn't know branded stuffs, and I mean really branded stuffs can be so unpractical, especially when you're saving and slogging your guts for months just to buy something that MIGHT last as you think it would. Though it's okay to pamper yourself once in awhile, I'll stick to my principle of being practical at times. $1k for a school bag.. Not my type.

Walked opposite to Paragon to see some other stuffs under Gucci. Shoes $660, Belts $300-$500. I swore I would have a hard time walking into these shops ever. The price is so damn crazyisation. Throw me the 1k and I'll shop till I drop. Rather then buying one just one item from Gucci. Especially at my age.

Being practical.. Figure it yourself. Other than the shocking prices of Gucci. I was tired throughout the whole walk. Till there's something to write about, I'm gonna have my beauty sleep now.

2008-09-16T11:10:00.002+08:00

Teachers that deserve respect.

It's 11am right now and I'm sitting on my chair blogging about this title instead of being in school for a practical lesson. New module is so fucked up, I hate to touch oily stuffs especially when it comes to machinery oil. Recently, Teachers are giving some motivation to why they should turn up for lessons and those reasons are valid, not that going to school is a burden. But I finally found some good reasons to turn up for school no matter how tired I am. Well, not that I'm tired, but my time is all in the opposite timing of those regular working people and students who sleeps at 11pm and waking up early in the morning. Holidays are coming and I'm feeling quite stressed up not knowing what to do during the holidays. Getting a job.. Like I posted below, isn't gonna be easy. Unless miracle happens. A pub is offering a job right now and I could stay next week.

When schools are on, we're on holiday mood, and when holidays are around the corner, we hope it won't come. For me though, not sure about you guys reading this post. Nothing surprising to me as this feeling often occur to me like every 2weeks before the holiday starts. And talk about giving teachers respect, when he finally knock some sense into me, it had to be a week before holiday. I can't prove to him I'm a change man! How upsetting. Never mind, I'll do just that when holidays are over.

It's time for some facial treatment during the holidays to remove those eye bags and pimple that appear on the Prince's face during this past few weeks due to the lack of sleep.

Regarding the overseas trip planned by you know who you guys are. I'll take it as you guys are out. Pardon for the rudeness but in future, kindly let me know instead of making me feel like a bloody fool staring at my handphone for weeks waiting for just a simple reply. It's not that I'm being sensitive, but can't you have the basic manners of at least giving an answer to if you're attending the trip? I didn't expect you guys to be so immature after all this years. If you guys even regard me as a friend.. I don't wish to go into details. Besides being disappointed, no words can describe your attitude towards a friend. As for those who gave me a reply, much appreciated.

Ain't gonna get this fucked up issue to disturb my sleep in a few minutes. Grow up and prove yourself to be a changed person. Till then. Let's not hope this will follow you any longer.

2008-09-14T01:33:00.003+08:00

Being blissful is a blessing.

Finding myself as a fortunate person in the family is has a very strong blissful feeling, though others might have better feelings than me, it's better to not compare families with one another. Students working just for the sake of doing their shopping while I make a ring for the bills to be paid, not being boastful but just saying. Then again, those working for their own clothing's have that hardworking spirit inside of them and not me.

Unfortunately, when trying to get used to the working life, no jobs are available or rather, unsuitable schedule. Sad, but, you can't force the manager to hire you or change the schedule just to fix your timetable. Most highly-paid job are usually when friends recommend them to you or whatever it is. But friends come and go, those which are still intact are either at Macdonald's or as a waiter at some unknown resturant, or either office jobs with experience. Seeing some friends during outing when we're no longer in contact doesn't mean you have to be rude though. A simple "Hello" or greeting will be good. Just because the contact isn't there, doesn't mean you need to spoil your image and make you look like an idiotic friend which once went out together. Not that I'm complaining, but have some sense of pride in your family for bringing your upbringing.

Start from the bottom and climb up the ladder, which is what most of the working people are been told now and then, but not at my age. I don't believe in working at a job that you won't like or not really into it as it'll only affect the business. Only interested in clubs and pubs. AT THE MOMENT. Not when it's in the "Working World". Till then..

P.S Anyone know of any pubs hiring bar-tender or training them, please contact me!

2008-09-12T08:04:00.003+08:00

Live the life you love, Love the life you live.

I got this sentence from an old friend years back and finally got the meaning. Goodness, it took long but it's always better late then never. I'm seriously getting so caught up with that sentence. It brings out the characteristic in oneself. Some may get confuse and trying very hard to understand. But if those who understand the sentence. Please start doing it! Those who haven't get a clue. No worries man, for Melvin is here.

Let's elaborate it further, I'll make it short and easier for you peeps to understand.

When Donnie, a pet puppy was wearing the collar with the sentence on it. People stared and wonder what does it mean. Live the life you love and love the life you live is all about you not trying to change yourself just to prove to someone you wanna show it to.

Live the life you love even if it means visiting the library or museum, just do whatever that please you. Not that anyone is complaining, or even if they do, you don't have to change your hobbies just because your friend says you can't dance in clubs. It applies to being in a relationship.

Torturing yourself at nightclubs just because guys/ladies hang around there and hoping you're find the "special" one there is ridiculous. Even if you do find someone, you won't share the common stuffs you two would like. One loves nightclub while the other one just follow up to keep him/her accompany.

Who knows, you might find someone just as attractive as the person you met in the nightclub at the library and museum and what's best is you both have something in common.

NEVER change the life you live just for the sake of something/someone just on that particular hobby itself.

And that's what happened when Donnie tried to change, he felt miserable. So love the life you live.

2008-09-10T13:15:00.002+08:00

Irregular sleeping timing isn't good. Well, I assume it's no secret to those night owls like myself to understand the meaning. For the sake of school attendance, I must perserver. It's not like I don't wish to sleep. But my dad told me I'm a lousy sleeper. So it's better to only sleep after a wonderful day in school. Releasing those "stress" within me straight after practical is done.

Eyebags and pimples are out, but I've 4weeks to remove them! No worries, I'm still as pretty as I can get like no other guys can without their beauty sleep. Insufficient sleep isn't a problem as long as the computer is switched on.

I've learnt a new sentence today! And for the 2years in the pathetic school, for once, the teacher is giving something meaningful, not that it applies to the work, but to the daily issue.

"The materials are for student to use, not to abuse." Though some may say it's a common sentence, but yet again, I think it's very meaningful, especially to those who cherish those times in school, unlike those assholes who just play a fool. Bear in mind that I'm no longer one of those assholes. I'm a changed person. Just so you know. HAHA. Alright, let's not get into anymore pointers for me to flatter myself further.

It's 36hours 15mins 29sec since I last woke up and I'm gonna get some beauty sleep to keep my complexion. Till then, let's save it for another day.

2008-09-09T07:23:00.003+08:00

Regarding the overseas trip to Tioman, I hope you guys can give me a reply as soon as possible, I really need to start booking for the hotels, transport etc. I can't do it without the confirmation of how many people is attending the trip. It's a 3 days 2 night trip on 26th September - 28th September. It'll help alot if you could give me a reply by this coming Friday 12th September and also pass me the cash for your tickets.

If for some reasons, you can't make it. Well at least tell me. I don't wanna leave the rope hangin there for nothing. Plans are mostly fixed in the afternoon, I'll ensure you that you're gonna have a hell of a time over there. So do not worry about not enjoying yourself. You'll be worried if you didn't turn up. Till then, it's the 1st overseas trip within ourselves as friends.

2008-09-07T21:34:00.002+08:00

After weeks of rotting, I'm finally gonna use this blog to kill some of my precious time so much so I don't toss around bed without a good night sleep. Firstly, my sincere apology to those who went through the trouble to relink my unnecessary blog, but even if you don't. It's okay.

Well, a short day Today at Marina Square and Suntec City, a semi-family outing. Actually, not really a family outing, just needed my parents to fork out the bills while I pick my clothes. Spent $101.90 on a collar T-shirt and 2 shirts from TopShop. It's like finally, I found a shop which was always there, and which had those sizes I want. Not that I'm complaining, it's better late then never. What a relive, but the prices are killing me. Thank god that's what parents are for.

Jeremy(Cousin) joined us later on in the evening to look for his shirts. Walked around Marina and couldn't find the shoes suitable or rather, not the type he was looking for. Took a way to Suntec and City Link, or whatever that place is called. Nothing caught our attention.

Headed to bugis, bought a converse shoes with England's Flag at the corner. Unique and it was nice. Decided to call it a day, breakfast meal! 2 half boiled egg, 2 toast and a glass of Ice Milo to complete the set.

And here I am 30minutes later blogging.

P.S I'm damn tired and lazy to change the song at the moment. So switch off your speaker if you don't wish to listen. :P

2008-07-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

How time flies..

To my best friend, Toh, take care during your overseas camp.

It's being 11years since we met together outside
some random store selling cards and "fighting" business.

And right now, you're leaving for Thailand.
After thinking about what we did in the past, a regretted
spending more time together with you and some other people we know.
Though its a bit too late, we'll start back our

"Shopping Spree" mode once you return.
Throughout this years I lived through, the best moments
during my shopping spree was always with you, Randy, Joey and Jeremy.

Maybe because it was the connection and our friendship that
brought us this far, I hope we'll always be like this.
It's different from those friends I know through the computer.
The feeling is different, and I can't explain it.

I'm very content to have you and not to forget "small boy" aka Randy
and of course bro(Jack) for being there for me during those times
when I was seriously down and was totally out of this world.
Even though we'd not English educated, but I understand
those words said to me.

And for that, you guys made me to what I am now.
No doubt, I'm feeling very low at the moment, but like we said.
Time flies, it's almost 2years, and I could remember saying, "Take care in Tekong".
Right now, you're 2months away from ORD.

Life's too short for conflicts. We wasted too much youth on our com during
our younger days.
Once you're back, it's high time we really enjoy ourselves before
we move into the working world.

You made me understand the meaning of "You don't need a lot of friends"
With you and Randy, it's enough for me.
Most of the people we know have changed, nothing can be done, but
I'll just cherish those who are still with me.
It's sad to know I'm losing friends at this age.

The whole world can change, but not you guys, please.
I don't wanna lose any friends anymore, it's being quite
quiet this week Saturdays, and now with you gone...

Praying for the best..
2months..
2months..!

Please make it fast. I need my friends.

2008-07-26T13:42:00.000+08:00

Friday.

3days away from National Service Medical Check up.
Damn, how time flies.

Didn't get up for school in time, so what the heck, went back to sleep till 1pm.
Wash up and get dress for a shopping spree. Hoho.
Met up with Randy and Toh in the bus to City Hall.

Walked to Marina Square and met up with my 2 cousins Joey and Jeremy.
Marina Square was a shopping paradise, for me though. Haha.
Went to almost all the shop twice and decided to be a rich man for ONCE.
Bought a black jeans and 2 shirts from TopMen.

There goes $180.

2nd round, Zara. Bought a black collar T-shirt at $60.
Left with $100+ couldn't use it all, "REN" mustn't spend.
Went to Starbucks to drink and rest my legs with friends and cousins.

7pm, before leaving. I found out I lost my iPod. Fucking pissed off.
Good news was to lost it after my happy shopping spree.
Bad feeling was losing it without knowing where I put it.

Whatever, went to bugis to drink. Must relax awhile.
Went with the same old group for the past 3 weeks.
Parents' friends were all there, quite surprised.

"Cheers" here "Cheers" there till 11pm when I was totally wasted.
Couldn't take it anymore, cab home to rest.
Sleeping time was horrible, couldn't have a proper sleep
throughout the night, woke up to drink water to wash off the Dry Gin and
Whisky inside me.

And here I am blogging right now. Feeling sooo drunk, till then.
I'm off for another sleep.

Read the Poster beside and find out which dressing room shop am I in.

Drinking paradise.

Drinking group.

Pri sch till now, and still counting.

2008-07-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

Friday's boooooooooooooring outing.

Was dying to buy white banbodes, met up with cousin Joey
and Randy at bugis around 5pm.

Walked around Bugis Street 2-3rounds and came across
that had a few nice banbodes, not that it caught my attention.
But it was the one of the nicest banbodes around the
shops we walked pass.
Bought 1 at $28 till the lady said 2 for $50.
Cousin choose one more to get that $3 DISCOUNT!

We could do so much with $3 bucks. Hahaha.
He took a black one. How common is that.

Bugis was getting more and more boring. Didn't wanted
to continue walking, went to Food Junction to eat lunch.
It was only 6pm and the Food Junction was packed
with irritating people.

Ate their fill yet didn't wanna move their ass.
Ironic barbarians. Went to the back to find some seats.
After walking for 5mins, FINALLY found a seat.

Went to eat some random Curry Rice while my maid(Randy)
went to buy some drinks for us.

Quickly finish up my dinner and rush off.
Don't wanna be one of those barbarians. Hahaha.
Headed to the regular pub my parents always go to.
Sat outside and waited for an hour, Father's friend came
and went inside to sit.

Not long later, the china girl came out to ask if we wanted
to drink anything, Uncle Philip was gonna pay. Obviously!

We said NO! It wasn't nice.

Father came 15mins before my Mom did, went inside.
Called so many people to join me, but all wasn't free or
didn't return my call. Irritatinggggggggggg.

Called Joshua to join me. Luckily, he didn't disappoint me.
He came with his girlfriend, we drank a few glass of
Johnny walker and Bombay sapphire.

Tired, not drunk. Not enough sleeeeeep.
Left the pub at 11.30pm. Reached home for a shower.
Lay on bed for 2hours, can't enter dreamland.

Cheese pie. Switch on computer and played dota with
A LOT of night owl friends till 6am before finally entering dreamland.

Slept till 3pm(Saturday)

Called Toh and Randy to get ready while I rest for alittle bit more.
Met them at 5pm before taking a cab down to Queens Town shopping centre.

Weeee, shopping time!

Went 1 round around the whole shopping centre.
I was so excited. lmao.
Saw a lot of shops that are selling the kind of stuffs I'm looking for.
Before doing that, went to MacDonald's to have breakfast.

5.30pm, shopping spree started!

Quickly rush to the shop where I saw a skinny jeans that I wanted it desperately.
Headed to the 2nd shop that caught my attention.
Bought a shirt there with Randy. Try for size, for awhile though.

Walked around the basement and went into one random store to look around.
Toh wanted to buy jeans, so we waited, while waiting!
Goodness, saw another shirt. Wahaha, browse through abit before
deciding which to get.

15mins later, finally decided and bought a white one.
It was 7.30pm already, wanted to call it a day before
we spotted a shop outside the exit.
Went inside to see a bit. Toh and myself saw a white belt which
was very interesting. So we bought it. 1 for $18, 2 for $20.
Cheap. Hahaha.

Wallet was burning very deep. Left $26. Spent $114.
Must stop.
Went straight out the door and walked to the bus stop.
Took a bus down to Plaza Singapura.

Wanted to take a MRT straight to Bugis, but the small boy(Randy)
wanted to walk into PCBunk to look around.
Accompany the small boy so he won't cry if we rejected his request.

Saw 1 or 2 friends there, chatted awhile before leaving.
Bunk is getting very quiet nowadays.
Not as crowded as it was during those times whereby I practically
rot whole day at PCBunk.

Took the MRT down to bugis, Toh went to buy a wallet before we
went shopping, 2nd round.

Or rather, window shopping. Didn't have anymore cash.
Tsk tsk, I need more cash!

Weak friends, complaining that their legs were sore due to
all the walking. Pathetic.

Sat down at MacDonald's for a drink.
The weather is so damn fucking hot.
Asked them to finish up their rubbish so we could find Keat
at the lanshop to enjoy the air-con.

Plan to watch a movie, but I didn't bring my specs, so I didn't
want to watch. Don't wanna waste $10 watching some blur
pictures moving.

Called it a day before heading to the bus stop to take a bus home.

I'm home now! And the jeans I bought is too SMALL!
Not really, but I'm having problem trying to fit into it.
For once, a jeans that I'm complaining small.

Well anyway! Toh is going overseas for his National Service or whatever.
I need to look for another shopping partner!
Anyone care to join me for a shopping spree before Singapore Sales are over?!

2008-07-10T08:11:00.000+08:00

Haha!
I just had this sensation of uploading this picture, a lot!
To friends who know me well and wondering who are this people.

It's nothing much, just like maple friends.
This group are my DotA friends.
Hahaha, surprisingly some of people who I know online
are better with ladies then my school friends.
But only a few. Haha.

Not that I have anything against it!
Well, as you can see( If you can really see ), the date
on the picture is being quite some time, but
I just had this urge to upload it, besides
looking at my *ahem* face! Hahahahahaha.

I just loooooooove this picture alot.
I should say it's one of the BEST group picture
I taken besides those pic I took with Maple friends.

Well anyway, life is getting back to "normal".
School started, and my sleeping time is back to
my school hours.

Hmm, slept at 2am, woke up at 6am.
Went to school till 4pm, or later. Forgotten.
Went back to sleep till sayyyyyy 5.30pm?

I really don't know. All I know is when I looked into the mirror in my toilet.
For a moment I thought I was dreaming when I saw a panda infront of me.

NO KIDDING!

Haha, my sleeping time is corrupted
like what my Sunshine said.

NEVERMIND!

1month 15days more for the LAST holiday. Oh my.
Time passes very fast. I'm gonna get SHAVE soon..

nooooooo, my hair.

To those July Babies, Wish you guys all the best!
Emily, Shawn Tan, Diana, etc..

2008-07-05T07:09:00.000+08:00

Friday/Saturday Morning!

Argh, I'm very very pissed off with myself right now.
I wish I had the keys to open my window and just fall off.
I'm suffering from a very bad insomnia that is just making
my life very miserable.

Slept at 2am on Thursday morning, surprisingly.
Woke up on Friday 4pm. For some reasons, I slept for quite long.
Wash up and rest for awhile before meeting my secondary schoolmates for a drink.

Shower and got ready at 8pm, meeting time was suppose to be 7.30pm.
But who cares, arrived at bugis and I was the first to be there.
Met up with Markus and Harun before heading to MacDonald's for my lunch.
9pm, Kean wei joined us and had his dinner before we make
our way to the pub.

Walked for quite awhile before reaching the pub, Father reserved a table
for me. Table was big, but sadly, afew of them couldn't make it.
So what the hell, we didn't let that ruin our night.

Dad threw a bottle of Johnny walker for us. Drank half before
he brought another bottle of Bombay sapphire.
Shane and Shawn couldn't drink Bombay sapphire for some reasons.
So, we changed it to a Chivas Regal.

I was quite drank alright, but it was 2am, the pub was left
with 2 groups of people.
My friends and some random people.
Bartender came to join us.
She poured the liquor and cheers with us. I rejected!
But she used my dad as an excuse saying that he was a good drinker,
so I must be like one. How ridiculous.
Shawn and Kean wei asked for the girl's number.
She gave! Goodness.
Wondering how many numbers she have in her phone with
all the other people asking.

But, I drank it because I'm a strong man!
She sat with us and chatted for quite long.
Shawn and Kean wei was very very high. Haha
They request for their song to be played so they could sing.

Harun was wasted, again. Shane didn't drink much, so he was okay!
After an hour from drunken to more drunken.
All of us were very high.
Harun sung a chinese song without pronouncing the words correctly.
I laughed so badly at that.
Not that I can, but I prefer english songs. Wahaha.

4am, pub was closing, went to toilet before leaving the place.
Smoked and walked to the main road to flag for a cab home.
Shared the cab with Kean wei and Shane.

Reached home at 4.30am, was desperate to sleep with the air-con.
On the air-con and lay on bed till now. 7am.
Couldn't get to sleep, don't know why.
Though after all the drinking, I would be in dreamland by now.
Frustrated, woke up and made Ham and cheese bread to eat abit.
And here I am blogging, instead of doing it later on.

Well! I'm going to make another sandwich to eat before trying to sleep!
Toodies readers. (;

2008-07-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

Thursday, or is it.
4 more days before school reopens.

Couldn't sleep since 5am.
Twist and toss around bed for 4hours.
I'm seriously suffering from a deep insomnia.

Frustrated and irritated, got up from bed at 8am.
Switch on computer and played till 2pm before heading
for woodlands to visit my little cousin.

6months since I last saw her.
Arrived there at 2.30pm.
She was sleeping! Goodness.
I was too tired too, didn't slept whole day. Went to the guest room
and sleep till 7pm before Lil cousin came to wake me up.

Wash up before having a mini dinner.
I didn't have any appetite this few days.
Maybe because I'm lacking of sleep.

Well, it's 10.50pm right now and I'm exhausted.
Till then! Off to bed, if only I could get to sleep.

Say Cheese!

Lil cousin with her mom.

Don't we look great together? =D

2008-06-29T22:47:00.001+08:00

Present Survey of Students undergoing the maturity before being an adult,
though it looks like it doesn't link much after the questions.
It will be put into a computer to settle what will the outcome be
during your 30s, 40s so on.

Purpose of survey is question related to the one answered before current question.

Joseph : Are you still studying? Where?
Melvin : Yes, Balestier ITE.

Joseph : What course are you currently under-going?
Melvin : Mechatronices.

Joseph : How long are you away from graduation?
Melvin : Less then 4months.

Joseph : Have you done your National Service Medical Check-up?
Melvin : No.

Joseph : Have you booked your check-up? When?
Melvin : 28th July 2008. 10am.

Joseph : What are your plans after the 2years of National Service?
Melvin : Taking up business course at MDIS.

Joseph : Why continue to study something different from what you're under-going now?
Melvin : Because I got no clue what the fuck are the teachers teaching in school.

Joseph : Why business?
Melvin : Because my father and mother are working at the same line? duh.

Joseph : Whats your current/future goal in life?
Melvin : To get a proper job after my 1year of business course in MDIS.

Joseph : What do you wish to have by the age of 25?
Melvin : A car. If I think it's practical.

Joseph : Why must it be practical to own a car?
Melvin : Ehh, owning a car in Singapore isn't cheap. Transport is easy.

Joseph : During the days when you're very down and stressed up. Who do you turn to?
Melvin : My dad.

Joseph : Why Dad instead of close friends?
Melvin : Because I'm always giving them advise. So I doubt they can give me any better advise then my dad.

Joseph : Are you happy with your current lifestyle? Why?
Melvin : Not really, yet still okay. No one to kill time with before National Service.

Joseph : Even though of working to know more friends?
Melvin : Nah.

Joseph : Going out with your girlfriend to kill time?
Melvin : Unfortunately, I'm still single.

Joseph : Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend? Isn't that teens' lifestyle?
Melvin : No thanks, I don't do that.

Joseph : Never though of being with someone you love?
Melvin : Define the word ' Love '

Joseph : Who will be the 1st lucky girl to ride in your new car?
Melvin : My mom!

Joseph : Is clubbing your type of life?
Melvin : Not in the past, but yes, it's part of my life now.

Joseph : Why put clubbing into your life at this age?
Melvin : Because I have nothing to do, so I club with my cousins.

Joseph : Do you go to clubs for the sake of the girls? Why?
Melvin : NO, clubbing girls are not my type, and I go club for the sake of the dance floor.

Joseph : You dance?
Melvin : Everyone does.

Joseph : What is dancing about?
Melvin : Dancing is to express yourself. Not impress others.

Joseph : What type of girls do you hope/wish to be with you?
Melvin : No comments.

Joseph : Ever fell for a girl before and couldn't get to be with her?
Melvin : Well, I was young, I couldn't think straight.

Joseph : Do you think it's important to have a girlfriend now?
Melvin : No.

Joseph : Whats the reason for you being so negative about girls?
Melvin : I don't know, I don't think I could live up to girls' expectation?

Joseph : When do you think you're ready to find a girlfriend?
Melvin : Eh, wow. When I see a girl who can seriously turn me on.

Joseph : Turn you on as in?
Melvin : When each time I look into her eyes, my heart beats till it exits from my mouth.

Joseph : What age girls will you prefer to be with?
Melvin : Age is just a number, maturity is another matter.

Joseph : How many ex-girlfriend do you have?
Melvin : 2.

Joseph : Was it out of love?
Melvin : Puppy love, not true love.

Joseph : Do you regret being in a relationship? Why?
Melvin : No, it's just an experience. Becoming more street wise.

Joseph : Are you an outstanding student?
Melvin : -_-' no.

Joseph : If you have a choice, would you like to born smart instead of being what you are?
Melvin : Nah. I love myself. Doctors, Lawyers. Smart asses whose parents pay for education and end up in the papers for molesting people.

Joseph : Is your dad a person who talks reason?
Melvin : Obviously, his the best father and also the best person who give me
unbelievable advise.

Joseph : What was the last funny words/action he did to make you/your family laughed?
Melvin : " So what if your girlfriend/boyfriend is pretty/handsome when you got no money? Touch their hand then " ba liao ", don't have to eat."

Joseph : If you were given one chance to turn back time. What will that be?
Melvin : Spending more time with my family.

Joseph : Do you count yourself as a mature young adult?
Melvin : What a question.

Joseph : What are your past friends like?
Melvin : Mature adults at their 20s.

Joseph : What are you present friends like?
Melvin : Mostly, classmates and secondary school friends.

Joseph : Do you prefer going out with your past friends or present? Why?
Melvin : Both, but I prefer to be with the 20s. No idea why, I just like.

Joseph : Where are those past friends you have now?
Melvin : Married, Working, etc. What all adults are doing.

Joseph : Well bitch, thanks for your time. See you in school tomorrow, and a person like you! With that kind of expectation about girls. You'll be single for life.
Melvin : Hahahahaha, screw you bitch. BYE!

-

What will you be in the future : " ... "
Confidential! No one will know except myself! Muhahahaha. Toodies.

This survey is a free for all survey.
Get 5 friends to look through the survey properly before
passing it on, shuffle the questions and declare what kind of person will you be
in 10years time.

P.S Getting adults will be better.

2008-06-29T04:04:00.000+08:00

Saturday.

Slept quite alot today, woke up at 5pm.
As usual, wash up and wait for the computer to load.
Played 2 games of DotA before having dinner with my family
as a Happy Birthday Father present.

Went back at 9pm, I'm late!
Quickly shower and make up before leaving home for Raffles City MRT.
Met up with quite alot of classmate, was quite happy with the respond.
Met Kean Wei, Shawn Iwasaki, Joshua and his new girl. Well, his always bringing new
girls out.

Walked to Clarke Quak to meet up with Shawn Tan, Markus, David and Harun.
Forgot to withdraw cash out.
Joshua and his new girl went to Macdonalds to eat while the rest went
to the pub ' Bar Dog '.

Asked Shawn Iwasaki to follow me to withdraw some cash at the ATM at
Clarke Quak's MRT station cheers store.
Machine didn't want to give me cash. Fucker.

Walk to some random place where Shawn said there was a ATM machine there.
Took a 20mins walk to the place to draw $40! It's ALOT!
Headed back to the pub, suckers drank so fast.
Half Martell left. Idiotic.
Harun was trying to ' be the man '.
Drinking 6 glass of Martell on rock straight.
But after an hour, vomitted the shit out. Haha. Dumb ass.

Not long, Shane joined us. As what all people do in pubs.
Pool, songs etc. Worst part was the music played there were all chinese.
How irontic.

Both Shawn(s) choose some R&B songs to listen awhile before heading
to another pub. I was desperate for the dancefloor!
Walked to Tanjong Pagar.
Most of the pubs checked IC, some of them haven't reach 18. Sad.
Went to one random pub where the boss was kind enough to let us all in.
Woohoo~

Ordered 2 Jug of beer.
This was where I went abit irritated!
Most of them don't dance, so Shawn Iwasaki and myself start the ball rolling.
Before dragging Joshua to the dancefloor.
Those pub girls came to join us, but we rejected.
Not using mouth to reject, but using our dance moves to keep them away.
YEAH! dancemove. Cool? Hahahaha. Pardon me. (:

Slack there till around 3.15am or later before leaving the pub.
Walked to some random bus stop to cab home.
Just too bad we wasn't those type of people to take pictures.

Next week is another week!

Wednesday, Zouk!
Friday, drinks at my place!
Lets make full use of the time we have while we still can.

Alright people, it's 4:12am right now.
Gonna shower and DotA!
Toodies.

2008-06-28T06:18:00.000+08:00

Friday!
2nd last week before school starts. *boring*

Well anyway, it's Friday, didn't plan to stay home and rot whole day.
Woke up at 2pm, surprisingly, switch on my computer and wash up
before it's exits to the desktop.

Played 2 rounds of DotA before getting a shower and preparing for my mini outing.
Headed to Far East Plaza for a little shopping, nothing caught my attention.
Hungry!

Went to Lucky Plaza to eat lunch due to the fact that Far East
has nothing but fast food, reached Lucky Plaza but all the food court was closed.
How frustrating, walked to Cine leisure, knowing the food court will be opened.
While walking pass Long John, someone shouted my name so loud that
I was wondering which ass was that.

Turned around and saw Stephanie with her sisterhood slacking outside
smoking! Tsk tsk.

My hunger was killing me. Quickly went to the food court to eat.
Duck rice, oh my gosh, how pathetic.
Ate and chatted with my cousin Joey and Randy.
Couldn't have a proper meal thanks to Randy with his crap talks
that make me laugh alot.

After lunch, didn't know what to do. Ridiculous.
Went back to my hometown market to meet up with Toh whose practically having
emotional problems which I think it was unnecessary.
Won't elaborate much on it.

Walked to Shaw Plaza to watch the movie "Wanted"
NC16. Haha, Randy was underage, so I ask him to fuck off, don't
want the casher to know we're friends.
Bought the ticket with my cousin 1st.

Went down to McDonald's to slack awhile, we were 1hour 45mins away from play view.
After 30mins, passed my IC to Randy to buy his ticket together with Toh.
His lucky to have a handsome face like mine that looks alike. Haha!
Always using my IC to buy NC16 movie tickets.

Didn't want to watch the movie without my spectacle, so, went home to get
my spectacle and wash off the wax on my hair.

Sunshine was in the neighbourhood, but didn't know her location.
How sad, couldn't pay her a visit.
Exchange text with her till I went into the cinema.
No radiation, re-text her after my movie, but she disappeared!

Suddenly, cousin looked stressed up, asked what went wrong.
Parents and brother of his had some problems back at home.
Brother run out of home, worried, wanted to cab down to Pasir Ris to search for him.
Dad of his went berserk and lots of thing happened.

I'm glad my father isn't like that, not that I'm being sarcastic.
But it happens.
As teens grow older, their maturity grows along with them.
As for mature adults, they turn crazy due to work, family, etc.

Went home to talk about it, grandma woke up to ask what happened.
Everyone couldn't sleep.
Joey, grandma and myself sitting in my room and watching TV till 4am.
3 of us were so hungry, cab down to a 24hour coffee shop to eat supper or rather
breakfast?

Who gives a shit, I didn't went down for the food anyway.
Just wanted to spend time with cousin and grandma.
Grandma's getting old, but I hope she'll stay with me forever.
Chatted and laughed alot while talking about how my father smash me
during my younger days.

Besides giving me harsh discipline, canning, slapping and scolding.
His still my one and only beloved father. I love you, and Happy Birthday Father!

Took a slow walk back home from the coffee shop.
Rested awhile and here I am blogging.

It's 6.38am right now, not tired, but I'm going to try get some sleep.
Tomorrow's outing will be fun!

See you guys tomorrow! Secondary school so call last outing together!
Lets rock.

Toodies and sweet dreams my fellow readers, or whatever.

2008-06-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

Friday was a disappointment.
Having the thought of going to disco was
getting me excited.

Not the disco, but the dance floor!
2hours after waiting for that call to meet up at
a venue, a message came & said everything was cancelled.

Pissed, wasted my wax, shampoo, time.
But oh well. Entertained myself with some games till
1.30am.

Went down to market with Toh to drink.
Actually, Toh drank, not me. Wasn't in a mood.
Chatted & slack for 3hours with Toh, Jack & Randy.
Laughed alot. Always will be, with me around!
Haha.

Headed home at 5am.
Couldn't sleep. Oh my gosh.
Toss around my bed till 8am, wanted to get up to
make some soup due to the hunger I'm holding
for the pass 3hours.

But when it was time to make that soup. It was already 5pm.
Goodness.
Promised Randy to follow him to bugis to shop for his SCHOOL bag.
School...
Moments during schooldays was unforgotten.

Met up with Toh under my block before meeting Randy at the bus stop.
Arrived at bugis around 7pm.
Stomach was making alot of noise.
Wanted to have dinner at Pasta mania.
But after avoiding Bugis for quite awhile, alot of changes were done.

Edge was replaced by Food Junction.
Couldn't find seats after camping outside for 30mins.
Went to eat chicken rice opposite.
It was disgusting. Ate abit before making our way to Bugis Street.
Walked around Bugis Street 2-3 times. It was so damn hot & crowded.
Despite the fact that we went there late to avoid the crowd.

Well anyway, after walking till our legs were wore out, small boy
finally made up his mind & went back to the very 1st shop to buy his bag.

Went out of bugis street, sat outside Long John, bought green tea while
I took a puff.

9pm. -_-'
So bored, headed to TS Cafe to find Keat, Teng Sheng & company.
Played audition for awhile. Haha, lost touch in it.
Fingers not reacting faster then before. To hell with it.
Went to play DotA till 11pm!

Took a bus home to change and bath before going down to the market
to meet up with my bro & Toh for a drink.
Was so damn hungry, eat alittle bit, and decided to drink green tea & milo peng
instead of liquor. =D
Chatted & Slacked there like before till 4am.

2008-06-10T04:09:00.000+08:00

2 days of clubbing are making my legs ache alot.
It's being quite some years since I last
move to the groove during clubbing hours.

Sunday's clubbing was pretty screwed up.
It's only common sense if you know you're
the typical ' ah beng ' type of person.
Why bother asking your girlfriend to tag along
knowing you will get too sensitive & over react
just by seeing her dancing on the dance floor
with the lots of other guys.
So c'mon, think twice before you drag & force
your girl to tag along.
Don't ruin my night just for some fight.

Today, Monday.
As usual, woke up to entertain myself with my computer games
till my cousin(Jerline) & Jeremy called if I wanna tag along
with them to club, again.
Well, it's the 1st time they asked me out, so wanted to give it
another shot.

Met up with them together with her boyfriend(FeiJun) & another guy(Ben) at
Clarke Quak.
Walked to the clubbing area named ' Home '
Didn't did I know it was a underage party.
Oh my, door wasn't opened yet, so we waited outside
for 30mins.

Saw alot of people from my secondary school.
But didn't bother saying Hi. Just don't wish to
talk to them.
While making our way inside. We though having
those glowing bands around our wrist was cool.
But when it was our turn to move in.

Bouncer said ' Over-age '. How sad, we didn't get to wear
the glowing bands.
Settled down inside with those fucked up small chairs.
After drinking our so called Housesoup.
Just felt like moving to the groove.

Drag my 2 cousins & their 2 friends to the dance floor to
shake our pom poms. It was fun.
But I didn't last for long, was totally out of breathe after
the 3rd song.
Love dancing, I seriously do. But I guess I'm too old for it. x(
Body is aching badly now.

11pm, got out of the club & went to find some food to eat.
Monday wasn't a good day to club.

So, decided to go geylang to eat ' dim some '
Jerline's boyfriend was driving, so, transport was pretty settled.
After eating, haha, we walked into the ' zone '
It wasn't my idea. Mind you.
I'm not that kind of person. =P

Walked 2 rounds. Saw a mini gambling den.
FeiJun & Ben played 2 rounds & won $20. lol.
Gambling is bad, so we make our way home after they won the $20 bucks.

I'm tired & exhausted now.
I'm going to sleep!
Tomorrow's another day.

2008-06-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

Friday.

Wash up, had lunch at 2pm.
Left for house to town at 3pm.

Met up with an old schoolmate, J.K at plaze singapura.
Was a tough week with those birthday boys/girls.
Burning a hold in my pocket.

Walked around in PS to shop for some stuffs.
While waiting for J.K's sister to come, went to Bunk for awhile.
Saw Simon, chatted with him before heading on top for a puff.

6pm.
About time his sis arrive.
Took the train together, both J.K & his sis drop off at bugis
while I continue my ride to Bedok to meet up with the birthday boy.

7pm.
Joshua came to fetch me from Bedok interchange.
It's seriously a fucked up place with those old disgusting past I had
at that area.
Well anyway, it was his birthday, so who gives a shit.

Took a bus to his house to settle down.
Charles, Shawn, Nikhil, Kean Wei, Bruce, Adam & some random people
which I have totally 0 link to came along together with their girlfriends.

Was not feeling too comfortable though.
Dinner time was alright, old friends sat at the dining table
to talk about what is happening.

It's only that part of Joshua's birthday I enjoyed the most.
I miss those times, alot.

Sat at the sofa to entertain ourselves with some ridiculous movie.
& seriously, the movie was damn ridiculous. I don't wish to
elabrate because it's too pathetic.

1am. Cab to Pasir Ris to grab a jug before heading to cousin's house.
Was pretty wasted by the time I reach cousin's home.

Showered & chill while waiting for my hair to dry.
Tomorrow is another day! Sleep Sleep Sleep.

Saturday!

Oh my gosh! Woke up late.
4pm, Joey(cousin) was missing. Fly my kite, again.
Was still abit drunk due to the hard liquor consumed the day before.

5pm, showered & got ready before leaving for town.
Went to Plaze Sing' to meet up with Jeremy's(Cousin) girlfriend.
Wanted to HAVE lunch at the foodcourt, but it was full. Fuck it.
Decided to walk to Cineleisure.

Kisses & huggies between the 2 birdies before saying bye bye.
Walked to Cineleisure with Jeremy.
Headed straight for the foodcourt to grab a table.
Stomach was making noise, couldn't take it anymore.
Ate & chill at the food court till Jeremy's friend came.

After everyone was done with their dinner, took a puff upstairs.
Went to HMV to walk one round.
Oh my gosh, I saw a couple of shirts I'm dying to buy.
But the price is wicked.

My heartaches alot when I saw the shirts' price.
At this kind of hour, 9pm. Most of the shops are closed.
No point walking further, went back to entrance to smoke.

Bypose at HMV bus stop for awhile.
Friends came, so I decided to make my move.
Went to Clarke Quak to hand Jasmine's birthday present
before going for a drink.

Drinking has became part of my life recently, it's bad.
I must stop!
Went bugis to drink a little bit. Don't wanna go home with the smell of alchol.

It's 8th of June now!
Happy birthday to those birthday guys/girls.
Joshua, Jasmine, etc. so on..

Best wishes & hope you guys achieve in every aspect of your existance.

2008-06-05T23:06:00.001+08:00

I'm fucking pissed off today!
I TIO DUA~ OH MY GOSH!
FUCKING CHEESE PIE!!

2008-06-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today's blog besides the survey.

I'm tired & I'm going to sleep now! :D
Will update about today if I still remember what happened today tomorrow.

2008-06-04T12:32:00.001+08:00

Sunshine's so called Survey with 100 ridiculous questions.
Well, here goes nothing.

1. What's the connection between you & the last person that called you?
Joshua, 6years friendship since 2002.

2. Do you ever turn your cellphone off?
3hours ago due to some stupid examination in the school hall.

3. What happened at 10.00am today?
Smoking outside school after examination was done.

4. When did you last cry?
Long ago, very long.

5. What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
No idea.

6. What do you want in your life right now?
Get a life, like duh.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
None. I love to sing in the rain.

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
My bolster!

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Naked. Haha.

10. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
Your new NSPortal password is <...>

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
If you're stupid, you'd won't know what I mean.
Ridiculous question.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Hair? Skin? Underwear?

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Kiss of the Dragon, watched it online though.

14. What are you proud of?
Myself.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
" oi bitch, your birthday how? "

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Haha, you don't wanna know.

17. Do you have any nicknames? What are they?
Too many to remember any.

18. What does you last received text message say? Who was it from?
Joshua. " Wake up, 30mins before examination ".

19. When you went to bed last night?
3am.

20. Are you currently happy?
Always am.

21. Who gives you best advice?
My father, le ming, my bro, my dear?

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
What the fuck?

23. Who did you talk on the phone last night?
People hardly call me. Haha.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Nope.

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
My classmates. Never fail to do so.

26. Do you wear toe sucks?
If I had any problems with my toe, I might, otherwise.
Piss off.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Andy, my salon styler.

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Once, well, everyone does.

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Not keeping their word? Or? No idea.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
CONFIDENTIAL!

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
lol.

32. What is the colour of your room?
Blue.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
YES! Wahahah.

34. Do you believe in the saying " talk is cheap "?
Nah, talk is free. Not cheap.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
Melvin Tay *** ***

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
wow, what a question.

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
If I even did.

38. Do you have a life?
No, trying to get some at the moment.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Can't be bothered.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
It makes me wanna moooove to the grooooove.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Can't remember the face.

42. Last time you smiled?
Right now doing this survey.

43. Have you changed this year?
I don't comment myself.

44. What are you listening to right now?
Umbrella(Remix)

45. Are you talking to someone when you're doing this?
Myself.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
-_-'

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Don't kiss my ass.

48. Do you want someone you can't have?
(:

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Primary 2. Forgot what was it called.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
National service.

51. What were you doing lat night at 11.00pm?
Watching television.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
Ain't attached.

53. What song describe your love life?
Ample.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
(:

55. Who always make you laugh?
All my friends.

56. Do you speak other language other then English?
Chinese, Hokkien, Malay & Tamil vulgarities.

57. Are you blond?
I'm black.

58. Whats your middle name?
-

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Shopping.

60. What do you think you are like?
Lifeless.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
The whole world.

62. Where have you been today?
School.

63. What game do you play often?
DotA.

64. Who are you missing right now?
Enough of this confidential questions.

65. If you've to choose between friends & love, who will you choose?
Not possible to choose both. But I'll go with love.

66. What are you doing now?
lmao, this is a dumb question.

67. Which Primary School are you from?
St Michael's Primary.

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
Black, White, Pink.

69. What emotion you like to show?
o.o _|_

70. What is life to you?
Working, Supporting family.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Smoke, think, consider.

72. Who did you last chatted in msn today?
No one.

73. Who do you admire the most?
Me! Melvin!

74. Which month are you born in?
March.

75. How are you feeling right now?
Always happy.

76. What is the time now?
Tiger time. 12.51pm.

77. Where are you now?
Home sweet home.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
Alot.

79. Why are you doing this test?
What test?

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Sleep. Drink. Exercise.

81. At which age you wish to get marry?
100.

82. Who is more important to you? Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Friends?
Both.

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Always being having that confidence.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
Myself.

85. If you had only one day to live, what would you do?
Run naked at 10times around Singapore.

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Too many dreams.

87. What is your goal for this year?
Oh please, NS, come later. I've yet to enjoy life.

88. What feeling do you love most?
Being love?

89. Do you think its Global Warming now?
Yeah.

91. What feeling you hate the most?
Going back on what was said.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
If they are even worth cherishing.

93. Do you believe in God?
Definitely.

94. Who cares for you the most?
My parents.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Yawnification. Lost count.

96. What'll bring when you fight?
-_-' Hand phone, 999.

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
Scolding my grandmother at the age of 8.

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
I've learn to be independent.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Firstly, Stead is a fucking ridiculous word created by kids.
If you're too weak to even make your girlfriend love you.
Why bother being in a relationship.

100. What if I had a chance to turn back time?
Enjoy my childhood, DON'T WISH TO ENTER A ' ALL BOYS' SCHOOL '

Instruction : Remove 1 question from the above, add in your own personal question, and bold it. Next, list 10 people whom you would want them to do this, at the end of the post, Notify them in their tag box that he/she has been tagged. Pm them at msn.

-

To those who wish to do this survey, by all means.
All friends are equally treated.

2008-06-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Its Monday, yet it sense like it's a Friday.

Didn't sleep since Sunday morning 1am.
Play computer & watched movie online till 1pm.

Chatted with my classmate & decided to skip my sleeping time.

Went for my hair cut at 3pm.
Meet 2 of my friends, Kean Wei & Joshua at Shaw Tower's outdoor MacDonald's
after my hair cut was done.
Slack there for awhile before making our way to paragon.

Trying to look for a job, but there wasn't any vacancy available.
Oh well, headed to cineleisure to grab some lunch.
Ate our fill before going for a round or 2 at the K-pool for some
billiard game.

8pm.
Accompanied 1 of my friends to Jurong to buy his stupid idiotic bike shoes.
Picking a bike shoe is like picking a wife.
Took him 30mins to choose.

So pissed off, went to smoke outside with Kean wei while waiting for Joshua.
That sucker.

& finally, after a worthless wait was done.
Had dinner at KFC. Seat down & chatted alot.
Well actually, we chatted almost every min we had since we met up
at town.

It was fun though, I laughed like crazy with 2 of them around.
Maybe because it's a guy outing, so we acted alittle naive & childish.
But overall, I enjoyed it alot even though it's just a 3 man outing.

Was exhausted. 20hours without sleep is a killer.
Walked to the MRT & headed home.
Trying to sleep in train is a bad idea.
The chair is hard & my butt hurts alot.

1hour 30mins to home.
Was moving my butt left & right, trying to find a comfortable spot.
& I manage to find a good spot when I arrived at my stop.
Standing up & moving my body around.

11pm.
Geez, 2hours before I hit 24hours without sleep. again.

Well, that's all for today!
Shower time before I meet my maker in dreamland.
Toodies!

2008-06-01T08:37:00.000+08:00

Friday.

Was having my beauty sleep till my classmate dial me up
on my cell & asked me to get my ass to class in 15mins
otherwise I'm gonna retain in school for another 6months.

Panic ed.
Quickly wash up, get changed & rushed to school to sit for my exams.
Its damn upsetting, almost everyone was done except for me.
I cried as I look at the exam paper,
No one could let me copy till I spotted one of my classmate
who arrived 10mins earlier then me!

Sat next to him to peep alittle. =x
Finished up around 15mins before leaving school.

Was planning to go out for a jug or two, but cancelled.
Sad, rotted at home till 6am.

Was quite exhausted due to the lack of sleep I had on Thursday.
Slept the whole of Saturday. Crap.
Should be outside having fun like finally! but instead, I overslept at home.

Woke up at 10pm on a Saturday.
Play my computer all the way right now. 8.40am.
Entertaining myself with some movies.
Cool, but yet boring.
Experience a little argument in game that made me laughed so badly.
Well, I actually agreed with one of the players though.

By calling directors of a movie jerk when the storyline is about history.
Those programs on Discovery Channel etc showed by directors are nothing
but brainless morons.
Crack me up so badly when I saw that reply.

Tsk tsk! Boring Saturday.

Next Saturday won't be the same! Well, I hope.
Unless my friends are gonna throw me aside to rot at home again.

I wanna go out~ I'm so damn bored at home already... for like, the past 3months.
Someone! DATE ME OUT FOR PITY SAKE! =X

P.S To those readers who have jobs to intro, be it pubs or at shopping centres.
Please dial me or sms me up. I wanna work!
Its boring rotting at home.

No waitress, No office jobs. I wanna work, not get bored doing pathetic stuffs.

2008-05-29T01:35:00.000+08:00

Tuesday onwards

Days of night life, fun. But then again,
having just a simple 3days of night life is making
those pimples coming out like nobodies business.

Tuesday, stayed up all day since 10pm onwards.
Play computer throughout the night.
10am,
Went to school to collect some work that was needed to be completed
without 2days.

At noon, something horrible happened within my house area that
scared the shit out of me.
At first, it would seem like something heavy dropped from a
very high level.

But to everybody shocked, a 30+ woman committed suicide
directly opposite my block.
I stared at her body & just stone there for 15mins.
Things like this don't usually happen, and when it does.
Its pretty scary.

Went back to my computer till 5pm.
Slept at 5pm, woke up on wednesday morning, 1am.
Rest for awhile before starting on the work given by my class teacher.
Injured my thumb, pissed off.
Tried to write with my right hand, but it was totally unreadable.
Frustrated & irritated.
Tie amples of rubber band to make the pain numb.
Took me 6hours to complete just 3 'shit' of paper.

7am, had a long chat with my 6years friend.
1st time I chatted so long with a school friend.
Went to glue my arse to the computer till 10pm.

3hours before it hits 24hour without sleep.
Can't take it.
Went to lay on bed, slept till now!
Its 2am. ( Thursday )

I need to sleep, well, I hope I can.
Holiday is coming, yet, projects are also making their way.

Alright, I'm gonna shower & think of a new hair cut!
Till then, Toodies.

P.S- Thy father in heaven, bless the woman with your sincere love.
may she rest in peace, Amen.

2008-05-24T18:45:00.000+08:00

Friday's Blog.

Woke up when a friend called at 12noon.
Classmates making their way to my place for a drink.
Joshua, Keith, Kean Wei, Bruce & Jordan.

Wash up, prepare the drinks, cups etc.
They arrived at 1pm.
Drank the remaining half. By the time the bottle was empty.
2 of them were half dead.
Rest awhile before they make their way home to get some sleep
before the night comes.

3pm, they left for home while I got prepare
for work. How tiring, but what choice do I have.
Left house at 3.30pm.

Reached Eunos at 4pm. Went to the office,
got seated & my head was on the table.
Uncle asked me to wake up if not I'll be in trouble. x(

Went to the staircase to take a puff before
starting the paper work.

9pm, knock off, finally.
Whole body was aching.

Went to Raffles City to meet up with some of the same
people for round 2!

Joshua, Kean Wei, Bruce, & 2 other friends they brought along.
Walked to Clarke Quak's Cheers ATM to draw some money
before having dinner at some unknown place inbetween the pubs.

12.30midnight, walk to BlueBlaze.
The atmosphere was not so good, then again, not that bad.
Its damn annonying especially if people are singing songs with their crap voice.
We ordered Chivas.

1st 2hours there was boring, we were practically doing nothing
with those table near the karaoke.

Changed out seats to the sofa seats at the back.
Wasn't as noisy as before, but it was still boring till we took
cards to entertain ourself.

Soon, the bar tender herself came into the 'House' to join us for the
number game. It was till then, the whole outing became more fun.
I was dead drank after losing the game.

3am, called bro to fetch me home. Was too tired to walk.
He was kind enough to come fetch me home from blue blaze.

Reached home, sat on my computer chair, slept till 4am.
Got up to wash those wax on my hair.
Dry up & when my body hit the bed, the relaxation was so comfortable.
Slept all the way till right now!

Its 7pm.
Till then, toodies!

2008-05-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

Continuing from Sunday's blog.

Woke up at 6pm, parents went to United Square
for dinner.
Wash up & walked to the bus stop to meet them at United Square.
Was smoking on the way to the bus stop when I saw my neighbour,
also my tutor.

Haha, her eyes was like O.O when she saw what I was doing.
Greeted her & talked to her for awhile before reaching the bus stop.
Met up with parents at the food court at 7pm.

Ate my fill, headed to popular with them.
Was a boring Day.
Decided to went home while they went to Velocity to shop abit more.

Reached home at 9pm. Butt stucked to the computer
Till 8am.

Monday, Vesak Day.
Slept at 8am, woke up at 6pm, again.

Met up with toh for dinner.
Sited at the market & chat for an hour.
Took a walk to the Bread shop to buy some bum for supper.

A way to celebrate vesak's day.
Headed home not long after.
Played computer till 2am, friends had to sleep
for their NS, work, school.

If only I could join them in dreamland, but I just woke up like
8 hours ago!
So, what the hell.
Went to my ' entertainment centre ', browse for some movies to watch
till 9am.

Tuesday 9am.
Wash up, get changed, tie my hair before
going to school.
Was very exhausted when I reached school.

Morning lesson was boring, so I slept during lessons.
11.30am, our lunch break.

4 classmates of mine went to my house for a drink.
Goodness, drinking in the morning.

Drank martell, of course, with a mixer.
At 1pm, all was almost drank, till a friend called & told us
that there was going to be an exam at 2.30pm.

We just laughted & cleaned up before going back to school for the exam.
What a fucked up day for an exam after getting drunk.
Went to class, all of the other students was doing.

As I waited for my turn to come, I knocked out in class for 30mins.
Woke up, went to my station to do the test.
My vision was blur. I look though there were thousands of wire
waiting for me to place them in the right circuit.

Struggled for awhile before 2 of my friends helped me.
Completed the whole exam at 4pm.

Was frustrated, irritated, exhausted & pissed off.
Went home, didn't bothered getting change, slept with my uniform on.

Got up at 8pm, Dad didn't buy any dinner for me.
Called my mom, asked her to bring home the bacons.

From dinner at 9pm till 6am(Wednesday)
Glued my butt to my chair again.

Wanted to head to school after getting dressed,
but when I woke up.
I'm sitting at my computer right now doing this blog. 7pm.

What an interesting week.
I lost track of the date for this 3 days.
Life was pretty screwed up this week.
Sleeping time is totally off the clock.

Lets hope today won't be the same again (:
Till then, off to lunch. toodies.

2008-05-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

Hey Peeps!

What a sleep. In 8years.
Finally found the right time to switch on the air-con.

Well, I forgotten what I wanted to blog.
Lots of thing to blog about this morning, but I was dead drunk.

Went down to market at 3am to meet up with bro & toh.
They open a bottle of carlsberg, each drank one glass.

Chat for like 2hours, it was fun though.
Maybe its because for the past 2months, I'm rotting
at my hometown, so I guess I enjoyed the time yesterday with them.
I need my friends! Its so unexpectedly that everyone of them vanished.
I'm 18 only! & I'm rotting at home instead of being outside.
Pathetic. Geez.

At first, it was disturbing, we didn't know what to chat about.
Toh & myself quitted maple, whereby bro is still playing.
Chat a little bit about maple, then we switch the topic to
movies!

Its amazing how much can we talk about just by saying something
about War movies, etc.

When it was time to 'pack the bags' & head home. Bro's friend appeared.
He psycho us with 2 more bottle.
We drank with him. Then came again!
Another 2 more bottles.

Though it was a free treat, but toh & myself was already sooo lost.
I gave up on the 5th glass.
Wanted to smoke to clear the gas, but, no cigarettes left.
Took a slow walk to 7-11.

This is where it amuse me alot.
I went in without my specs on, the auntie asked for my IC.
I left it at the market. How frustrating.
Walked back & took my wallet.

Went back to 7-11, this time with my specs on.
She didn't asked for my IC. What a tard, wasted my time walking back.

I don't look old with my specs on for fuck sake!
This ain't the 1st time.

It happened 2-3 times, they asked for IC when no specs were on.
they never asked for IC when I had specs on. -_-'

Screwed up. Well, anyway!
Went back to the 'Drinking Corner'.
Bro & his friend were talking about their business.

Can't blame old people for being so sensitive.
Its happening around. Not only is bro's father abit screwed up.
It applies to my grandfather too.
I just hope I won't be like that when I'm around their age =X

I will be a nice, kind & friendly grandpapa to my grandsons x)
Born to be, always will be.

Argh! 6.30pm. Toodies, till then.
Out for lunch before I hit the movies online to kill time.

-
. Masashi knows no one is perfect in this world,
to every imperfection, there's never enough to make it perfect.
the only thing that will bring your life closer to
perfection, Love.

2008-05-18T06:17:00.001+08:00

im drunk & im going to sleeeep now

2008-05-16T17:03:00.000+08:00

Friday!

Its 5pm now, waiting for my bro to get home
before going to the hospital to visit my cousin.
Don't know what kind of operation is he going through,
but who cares, I'll find out soon though.

Well, anyway, today was a damn boring day.
Was half asleep when my father came into the room at 9am.
'' clock ringing like mad, yet you still can sleep ''

After 30mins, woke up to wash up, get dress before
taking a slow walk to school.

Hair was in a mess, pour lots of water & comb it neatly.
I look damn gross when I comb my hair, which time I see the mirror
after combing my hair.

William Hung just appear in my mind, it's sooo disgusting.
But, who cares, it's not like Balestier is flooded with pretty girls.
Walked into school with fear.

Was too afraid to bump into my school discipline master or any
of the old class adviser who once taught me before.
My hair is what I fear most during school hours.

Went to the 1st lesson, 10mins before lesson ends.
Finish up whatever was given before heading towards the 3rd class
for 2nd lesson.

Followed Keith, Joshua & Bruce to the staircase to smoke.
Teacher wasn't there anyway, so yeah, all were tired & sleepy.
Smoke one stick to keep us awake.

11am, teacher came with the key, but disappeared after passing it to our class monitor.
Computer in SmartClass 1 was fucking laggy.
Sitted in class for 15mins before I left for home.

Was too damn bored at home, looking at my phone, waiting
for someone to ask me out!

Suddenly thought of a movie which was release yesterday.
Went to my ' entertainment centre ' & search for the movie.
Boy, the website is just too efficient, movie was already showing online.

Watch the movie " Chocolate " for 1hour 50mins.
I must admit, some Thailand's girls are off the heat.
The main actress was pretty cool.
It was the 1st movie I enjoyed alot.
They showed alot of fighting parts.

Storyline was so-so, but fighting but amazing.
If only they could make it alittle bloody & some bone cracking moves.
It will be better.

But the ending was alittle boring with those romances part taking over the scene.
Japanese guy together with the mother of the fighter.
Wasn't as sad as I expected the directors to produce the storyline.

I'm soooo over the hot babe. :P
Just envy her skills, that's all!

Muay Thai is semi part of my life too!
Just that, I don't practise as much as she does.
The flexibility of her body takes alot of training.

But with my backbone condition, I ain't gonna risk my life trying to do it.

Yawnification, its friday!
Till then, off to find some programs to kill my time.
Long holiday..

Advance Happy Vesak Day.

Enjoy the song.

2008-05-12T06:53:00.001+08:00

A unexpected blog before getting ready for school! x)

Friday.

Went to school at 8am. Slept in school for awhile,
before heading home at 11am for a proper sleep.
Didn't slept whole night on Thursday. x)

Woke up at 6pm.
Was dying of boredom at home.
Called friends to find out where are they.

Browse through my handphone for numbers.
& finally noticed, none of those inside will be free.
So, called Keat, he was at bugis, what else to do but to
went down to find him.

Rotted with him for 2hours before finding my cousin.
Wanted to meet up with my cousin before finding my mom & dad
at the pub they usually ' choing ' at.
But, plan didn't went as I wanted it to be. Sadist.
Cousin send his girlfriend home while I
did a little window shopping alone at bugis.

Didn't want to be their ' tian teng bao ' =D
Took the last train to Pasir Ris to stay over at cousin's place.
Met my female cousin's boyfriend at their place.
Chat abit before playing dota with my cousin till 6am!
Goodness, what a time to be still up playing com.

Slept at 6.15am...

Saturday. Yawnification.
Woke up at 2pm.
Cousin's girlfriend called & cry over the phone,
whatever happened is none of my business.
But making so much noise, it disturbed my beauty sleep!
I'm surprised that his phone was so loud that I could
heard her cries.

Back to square 1 again. No one to go out with. x(
Play com till evening.
Followed cousin to cineleisure for dinner before
finding my neighbour for a jug of cocktail.

Went home at 11pm.
Haha, played com again. -.-'
How lifeless can I get.
Played till Sunday 2pm.

Slept & woke up at 8pm.
I celebrated Mother's day in my dream.
It was wonderful. Haha.
Parents punish me by not buying dinner for me.
How cruel.

Called Toh, ask him whether he could have a kind heart
to accompanied me for dinner.
Had roti prata for dinner, slack & chat awhile.
Topic during dinner was very disturbing.. even till now.
The sentence that is really making me really really
frustrated, fed up & stressful.

' What are you gonna do after NS ? '

I got no clue.

Headed home at midnight.
Play dota with toh, AGAIN!
Till now. (:

His left for camp while I'm blogging here right now.
Another day of school without sleep.
Just hope I don't fall dead later on during my Nafa.
Till then, toodies~ off to school. x)

P.S Couz!
Chill out. It'll work out just fine. :D Cheers!
Communication is what couples need. Good Luck!

2008-05-09T07:45:00.000+08:00

Though it seems so real, it only happened when my eyes was shut.
It's always being my fantasy living in a perfect world.

& its really that perfect,
sometimes, the brain really do wonders.

At a point of time, you could remember every single thing
being done at that particular moment, & at the very next,
when all eyes are opened, it just washes every thoughts of it.

History repeats itself inside dreamland, for that's all I could remember.
But just mending those mistakes everytime it 'repeat' itself.
Those times upon repeated, was tragic.

Living in a world with just you & me.
Spending those times together for just a short period of time
is very pleasing.

But somehow, the face wasn't clear. Curious, yet frustrated.
scratching heads just to find who was she..
Its always the opposite of dreams & reality, still, its nice.
Though I don't have much hope in it. It's just my fantasy.

....

They asked, what had became of me.
Question running through was always the same.
' I don't know? '

Seeing a different person surprised people around,
especially those whom you are close with.
Though its barely a slight change, to others,
its an unexpected personality management.

Talking & asking about what will become of you
upon sticking to her/him after a period of time.

Does everyone's background matter that much
to someone?

Nobody wanna know you past. It's like they said, past.
Unless those bastards just won't change.
Skipping those ridiculous question will be handful.
Dwell on the past are for the weak,
Look towards the future are for those who can live to forgive & forget.

....

I dwell on my past very much. x(
But not over girls that's for sure.
When I saw my cousin stepping into my house,
I reminisce on the past, being with him & those friends
was great.
Just too bad they went back to their hometown.
We separated then. 2 years.
How time flies.

School is currently my only entertainment now.
Other then that, I got nowhere to go, yet
I don't understand why are those fucked up letters coming in
now & then. Thoughts of quitting school..
Exhausted, irritated, frustrated with those argument between
family & myself.

Cousin's just don't feel the same anymore.
Maybe it's because of the relationship all of them are involve.
Tsk tsk, can't be helped.

Girlfriends/Boyfriends are more important to them.
Sometimes I browse through my phones, just looking
for that one person, who can kill time with me.
& as it is being done, those whom I wish to dial.
Just isn't there no more.

Making calls for a last minute outing those days
were as simple as it could be.
Things changed, making calls nowadays.
It just won't get through no more.

Turn back time.. Seriously, just turn back time..
I'm missing my clique very very much.
Give them back to me! Somebody!

I'm on a shopping spree whereby clothing's bought
are just rotting in my cardboard.

2008-05-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

Hey there readers ! =D

Its being quite awhile since I last blogged.
Well, there's nothing much to blog anyway.

Hmm, Wednesday is the only day which I enjoy the most
in school. Because its just damn slack in class.
Haha, was so exhausted today, but thanks to my sister's
friends who came to my house & made so much noise that
I woke up at 1.30pm.

Wash up, got changed & left house at 1.45pm.
Reached class at 2pm. Only the Chinese groups were there.
Thank god, otherwise, I'll be alone with the dark meats.
Since today's lesson is always so slacking,
chatted with my friends alittle while before
turning on my iPod & went to dreamland for an hour or so.

Woke up at 3.00pm to play with the robot in my class
awhile before class ended.
Teacher crap alot & made the class very enthu.
I suppose thats his ' secret weapon ' to making
100% of the students in his class to attend his
every single lessons.

Sectorhead came into the class to check out the new
robot from ABB ( Sweden's product )

Was pissed, the moment he stepped into my class,
he walked towards me & saying those usual sentence.

' Have you hair cut as soon as possible '
But I couldn't be bothered anyway, so I just replied ' Ok ok '
to make him stop his grandmother's stories

Teacher in charge of us today said to me too.
' Woah Melvin, your hair is fantastic '
But for some reason, I just laughed at what he said.
Maybe because his just too kind towards me, so yeah,
I didn't see a need show him any attitude of mine.

3.45pm, Class ended.
Went to take a bus to Toa Payoh to do some payment.
Did a little shopping around Toa Payoh before heading home.

I'm just so into shopping nowadays, don't know why.
But I'm just cleaving for more clothes.
Even though I hardly go out anymore like I usually do
back then.
But like what my mom said, its never enough to have any clothes.

Seeing those students in uniform just reminds me of the time
I hang around in Toa Payoh after school.
Miss those times.
Well, Toa Payoh isn't a place for guys I guess.
Nothing caught my attention. So went to take a bus back
at around 5.30pm.

Got home, rest awhile, & my butt is stuck on my chair since that.

Father came back with my tailor-ed jeans.
Tried them on, fits well.
& also bought a Punch-In hole for belts. If you know what I mean.
Punch 2-3 holes into my new white belt. =P
Just for the sake of playing with it yeah.

I wanna go out!
Any plans on saturday~ Give me a dial & I'll make your group go wild!
I'm so bored at homeeeeeeeeeee.

2008-05-05T13:15:00.000+08:00

i'm currently crapping a hole in my toilet bowl!

2008-05-01T18:18:00.000+08:00

Happy Labour Day to all!

Slept at 8am today. Gosh, just too anxious over what I'm gonna do
today!

Shopping spree.
Woke up at 1.40pm.
Parents went to Toa Payoh to collect some stuffs before
meeting me at Marina Square for my shopping spree.

Shower, make up a little bit before leaving house at 2.30pm.
Took a cab down to Marina Square to meet up with my parents & my brother.
Had lunch at the food court.
Man, it was flooded with china ladies.
Quickly ate my meal & headed to my very 1st shop!

Zara Men!
Bought a T-shirt & a white jeans, like finally.
A worth buying jeans. No more budget skinny white jeans.
Well, I'm not the one paying the bills anyway. x) Haha.

2nd shop was quite random, father wanted to buy a budget jeans.
Saw a shirt that caught my attention. So yeah, took the shirt
threw it together with my father's jean for payment.

Couldn't find converse in Marina Square. But oh well, never mind!
Walked to Suntec City, was quite packed, squeeze through
the crowd was irritating. Especially with those dark meats
surrounding me. The smell was horrible.

Found the converse shop at Suntec, went in to pick a shoe
for size. Was quite fast though. Less then 5mins before payment was done.
Bro wanted to buy a movie.

Followed him to BlueMax or whatever you call that.
Waited for him to pick his movie.
What an ass.
Picked a stupid cartoon movie which cost $49.90 bucks.
Rofl.

Since everyone in my family had bought their stuffs,
or rather, my stuffs. Wanted to call it a day.
Went to Food Republic to grab a drink before heading home.

L.P Zone Shirt. Cost : S$16.00

Zara Men T-Shirt. Cost : S$89.90

Zara Men White Jeans. Cost : S$99.90

Converse Shoes. Cost : S$59.90

A smile to psycho my parents for the clothings. Cost : Priceless.

There are somethings that money cannot buy,
where else, there's always parents there to foot the bills for you.

Spend exactly $265.70 today.
But thank god my parents was there. AGAIN, to settle my bills.
I'm so delighted I didn't have to use my pocket money to buy those clothes.
If not I'll be going on a hunger strike!

2008-04-29T18:32:00.000+08:00

2days away from shopping!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm blogging at this kind of hour.
I'm just damn bored doing nothing.

Just finished DotA. Maple is getting more & more boring.
Won't be logining in often though. x)

WELL anyway, today wasn't a very bad day.
Woke up late for school, as usual.
Off my alarm clock at 8am because it was disturbing my beauty sleep.
When my eyes opened, it was 9.30am.

Oh my, late for class. Though of giving it a skip.
But to prove to all those noobs out there!
I'm a good boy (:
Took a slow walk to class.
Smoke, tie my tail & hide my side burn to avoid those barking
from my class adviser.

Got sited in class at 10am.
Was surprised that I wasn't the only one late for class.
Did some work I owe my teacher.

2 papers before the slacking started.
Listen to my ipod & daydream like I always do. wahaha.
Saw my friends! Those in group 2.

Quickly went to next door to their class to chat with them.
Not long before 12noon. Walked to canteen to grab a bite & a cup of watermelon juice!
Saw alot of new faces. Juniors.

Typical secondary school like thinking. Their hair was a bomb.
Slope, shaved side burn, can't stop laughing.

Headed to the stadium in school. Avoiding the DM.
Seat down at a table, watch those dark meat playing soccer.
Smoking in school. ' Fierce siak '

Haha, the sun was burning my sensitive skin.
Can't take it anymore. Decided to skip afternoon's lesson. x)
Went home for a shower at 1pm.
But overall, school was quite fun, despite those boring-ness
I'm going through with my old group of friends.
We just got nothing more in common to chat about.

Played DotA all the way till now. Haha. Life-less.
Who cares, what can I do on a weekday.

Don't know whats going on with me, but I just can't wait till Labour day.
Gonna ask my mom to accompany to marina square to pay all my bills.

Saw a pants that caught my attention in Zara Men.
Just hope its still available.
Besides that, theres more to shop!
Being quite awhile since I last shopped.
Gonna get some new tops, jeans, shoes.

Till then.
There's nothing else to blog.

2008-04-25T01:18:00.001+08:00

Mr Woon Mong Tee,
Course Manager.

is a fucking bastard.
a no good motherless dog.
who kisses the director's ass.
lich his shoes like a fucking pain in the neck.

his face is disgusting.
irritating.
annoying.
frustrating.
screwed up.

i wish i could just burn that mother fucker's house.
let him die like a bitch he is.

maybe i won't elaborate that much.
but his just simply a jackass.

2008-04-24T01:08:00.000+08:00

Trying to seriously figure out what is wrong with my timing & brain right now.
Was used to waking up on time for school in the past.

Well, during Pri 1 till Sec 4 of course.
The sense in my brain always give me that thinking to wake up
when I overslept.

But now, a year & a half passed. Spending my time in ITE is good.
Then again, the sense of lateness just can't get me up.
Maybe because I know its okay to skip a lesson or 2.
Due to my laziness.

Pathetic, but then again, brain do wonders.
I really wanna change that mindset around.
I wanna go to school & be a good boy!

I wanna get my certificate.
School was very slack today. Maybe the teacher is lousy? Some may say.
But I don't think he is. He makes the lesson very interesting.
Maybe thats why I only have a full 101% attendance with him.

After an hour in class, he was talking about business & future.
Was quite a topic he choose though.

& after a 30mins of thinking in class while the teacher himself
was slacking.

A sudden thought came rushing through my brain & I really agree to myself.
That's life,
Working, getting good pay is one thing.
Being a boss or employee, it has the same principal.

In the working world, money isn't everything.
But being generous is one thing.
Thoughts of if you're pay is average, but your boss just treat you
very well.
Giving bonus to you or whatever so within months or per year
is better then having a double pay with the new boss ranting & ranting
over you like as if you're his living animal.

10years with the similar boss. He treats you well.
1 year with a different boss, He treats you like dirt.

I'll prefer the 1st. After working so long, he gain your trust, so do you.
Some may say, money changes oneself personality.
No doubt its true.

But friendship is one thing that money can't buy.

Planning too far ahead? Perhaps.
But I just hope to get a good boss in future when I moved on
to the working world.

Stable pay for a car is all I ask for right now. (:
All priority has been drafted & re-arrange.
But friendship will always be ahead of money, that's for sure.
I'm trying very hard to remove those love life away till I think its worth having.

I have no right to judge others.
To those who I judged in the past, my sincere apology.

I'll learn to love, judge & take good care of myself before
I have the right to do so to another person.
But currently, I just need to love myself.
Drafting far away from friends.

Attempt suicide was stupid. I must say.
I won't elaborate. For me to know, that's all. (:

2008-04-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

how does it feel like
when you're dropping from a 12th story HDB?

anyone care to join me in this experiment?

2008-04-22T01:52:00.000+08:00

Rating the numbers of happening & unexpected experience in life.

When a girl looked at you with glazing eyes.
- she's having a little interest in you.

When she talks with you with a happy tone & a naturally sweet smile.
- she's enjoying the time spent with you.

She can't wait to see you again during the next outing.
- she's having the time of her life being with you/your group.

She shows you a moody & boring face.
- quickly find a topic to change the attitude the other way round.

Replying to your every message with a sense of enthu.
- never wanna stop the conversation.

Shows you a black face after a question spoken out wrongly.
- apologize & be sophisticated.

Feels lonely & unwanted with your group of friends.
- introduce your friends to her, make her feel easy & comfortable with your friends.

Rejects your present.
- she enjoy those moments with you, not for the gifts, but for the memories.

Replying single word message to you.
- bored & irritated by you.

Talk to you with a sunken face.
- getting bored of your jokes/theory.

Some claim that Singapore's government are protecting the ladies
from getting hurt or harm by the opposite sex.
That's the advantage ladies have in Singapore.

Unfair to the guys, so they may say.

But sometimes, if you would use your brain to think a little more.
Not too far, ladies don't expect much from you.
Obviously, an apology is a must, following up is your smile.
That's guys' advantage.

Ladies are sensitive, no doubt about that.
Some guys look so fucked up with their background,
but every one has that soft spot in them to always make the girl
they love smile no matter what.

What's yours will be yours,
whats not yours, let it go.

Rejections are sure hard to take.

Either she's really not into you,
or she's just waiting for you to impress her more.
Its a simple logic.

Well, unless you're damn dumb to see what kind of signs she's showing you.
I can't complain much then.

Rejected party : Love can slowly build up.
Reject party : Love can't be forced.

Love can't be forced, true.
Love can slowly be build up, fuck off.
Too much dramas is unhealthy.

No means no, unless like I said, she's waiting for more surprises from you.
Why be noble knowing you don't wanna be with him.
Friends telling you, ' he/she so good towards you '
Because of those words of ' encouragement '
you wanna waste your time & hurt the other party.

It hurts sometimes when you're waiting for that simple little message
from her.
But its just a crush, which you don't wanna get yourself involve with.
Patience..

she will be there.. soon, very soon..

Today.

Was the day, when she shock me back to reality.
Don't waste your time trying to figure out who was it. (;
Well, I'm finally turning those sub-conscious around.
During those days early in year 2008. Going to school was like a torture.
Recently, skipped 1st 2 days of class was making me pissed off.
I'm like so damn bored at home.

I used to have the mindset of boringness when I'm in school.
That's the problem with me not attending school.
But its the sub-conscious that kept me moving on.
Though its still fucking boring in school, I tried to
be happy with what I'm doing & it really works.
Well, for me.
For you, I can't be bothered though. (;

School's great, but due to those times I skipped class.
Those common things I have with my friends are all fading.
When they talk, I go blank.
When I talk, they snore. -_-'

Its high time for me to get back into my clique soon!
Otherwise, my life is as good as gone!

Toodies Benzona~ x)

2008-04-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

Saturday's Post!
Nothing much happened on Sunday.
So, yeah. x)

After 3 weeks of pathetic holiday at home.
Decided to call 2-3 friends out for a movie at the usual place.

Went to had a haircut at noon.
Took lunch at home, chill alittle before preparing
myself.

Left house at 4pm or so.
Met Toh at block 104, headed to the bus stop.
Caught up with Randy in the bus.

Was expecting a better outing though, but..
As time past, people changed.
So, what much can be done.
Linnie met up with us at 6pm.

Before taking a slow walk to Cathay to get a movie.
Street Kings. 7.30pm

7pm. Sat down outside Cathay before the movie starts.
Chatted alittle bit with linnie about stuffs.
Wasn't feeling too good when we had that conversation.
More or less about our future I guess,
what are we to do after my National Service & her studies.

Paused for a moment. Stressed up.
Considering to take up MDIS business course after my
NS is over.
Then again, waste 2years of working 'probation'
It's time to put everything behind & start preparing for the future.

How time flies.
The next moment, NS will be over. Looking through newspaper, for a job.

Thought about food industry.
Good money, but the hard work is really stressful.
35k per month.

After reducing worker's pay, rental, & stuffs.
Earning will be around 15k.
I was like WOW!

But, imagine those hard works you have to go through.
6am daily. Marketing.
Till late nights at 10pm.
6days a week.

Rich, but then again, don't have the time to spend the money. x(

Business, low pay. 5days a week. Fixed time.
Perhaps...

Some said I think too far.
Am I? or am I just preparing for my future?

Maybe I should start a part-time job soon.
Just a little more working experience before going to
the 'Cruel World'....

2008-04-19T03:36:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered why some people shed tears easily &
why some feel the same but just can't shed those tears?

Well, I do, but my dad doesn't.
Repeated this music due to the past I had with great friends.

Every single song brings me a little sweet memory.
This song just came into my mind 4hours back
when I was catching a movie with my lifetime friend, toh.

Knew him almost my WHOLE life.
1st friend I was really close to & also what we call
'True friends'

I had many friends during my younger days.
This song just reminds me of the time spend with my
Indonesia friends 4years back & those times I was super close with my
cousins. (:
How time flies.

Daily lifestyle with them during holidays were..
hmm, how do I put it.
Almost every hour we're together.

& when school days. Its slightly abit more fun. :D
Skip school together, hang around at Shaw Plaza,
(where I caught a movie earlier on)
till my dad & mom leaves home for work before going to my place
to slack.

Fridays were our moments together.
Memories with Indonesia friends on a Friday are priceless,
not to forget, unforgettable.
Slack by the poolside was our way of life.
& of course. Drinks, like duh. Beer & stuffs, usual stuffs.

It was the 1st time I cried in the cinema
upon reminiscing on the past with them.

WELL, they're all gone, ain't coming back, that's for sure.

As people grow older, they get to know more friends,
sense of maturity increases.
But its the other way round for me.
Friends are getting lesser & lesser.
Due to the boredom I'm having at home daily is screwing up my mind.
I tent to get naive at times.
But, who cares. x)

A girl called, maybe she's helping me to get over my pathetic life
by offering me a part time job.
Still considering though.

Argh, screw this shit. TURN BACK TIME PLEASE!
I miss my childhood moments. I seriously do.
Give up everything I have now in exchange for my friends back.
Who will grant me that?

In return, I'll be your slave!

It's so easy to push it all out,
but so hard to let it all go.
Both teachers & students stand side by side
from start to end, & only get separated when
both walks into a different path.

Its always hard to choose.
Making choices doesn't mean there's no turning back.
Between those choices, good & bad is happening around.
How to face it comes back to yourself.
Be brave, be strong.

Make the choice before the choice makes you.

My bad for this path.
Therefore, learning take places.
Glad, yet disappointed.
All the learning just leads back to square one.
Fuck yourself & die alright?

2008-04-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

School reopens!

Skipped Monday & Tuesday's lesson.
Was only till last night.

At 1.23am, was glazing outside the window,
beautiful sight for once.
A full moon. & while smoking.

Sudden thoughts of what am I to do after National Service
kept me standing there for 45mins.

What can I do with a pathetic 'N' level certificate.
Though ITE's life is not so tough, but yet I choose to
skip lessons.

My dream was just to lead a normal life with my 'wife'
which is my car.
Its being my dream all along to drive my own sweet car.
But my current status is so screwed up.
I seriously need to reconsider taking up further studies.
Then again, what am I to do after National Service.

Current status in ITE isn't good.
My marks are nothing but disappointment.
How many times did I told myself to change, but I'm still the same.
Gees, I don't know when is the day when my mind is turned to the
correct direction.

Perhaps, it a little too late. But still, I'm gonna preserver.
My motivation was given from my tuition teacher once again.
Her letter given to me on my birthday was nothing but full of inspiration.
Maybe she is just lying, but little did I know, her lies kept me going.

Come to think of it, she's always there for me when I fall.
Though advice is what we asked for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
Day by day, I crawl to her for advice.

Aww, this is such a screwed up post.
Won't go further.
Toodies!

2008-04-15T04:20:00.000+08:00

I'm damn lazy to blog....

2008-04-13T02:34:00.000+08:00

How often do your friends dial you on the cell
& telling you ' I'm in love with someone '

& by the way, those readers reading this right now,
if you find it very irritating or very fucked up.
Just close this website. (:
Its not for you to read too.

Continue, Without knowing what do they mean by 'love'
they give you a simple ridiculous sentence
like what people are using right now.

' I can't explain love '

Though its true that some feelings towards another person
is unexplainable.
But you gotta least have a simple reason for having that kind of feeling towards
him/her.

This so call 'Love' has being misused by younger generation.
From crush to love.
& to whoever the idiot that created the word 'stead'.
I don't know which part of a relationship between a male & a female
was ever known as 'stead'.

When one -L-over makes that move, the relationship between
each other is over.
You cry, you cut yourself like a bitch you are.
& then being influence by friends who often have past relationship failure.
You tent to follow their footsteps & whatever rubbish sentimental
'proposal' they given to you.

Its seriously nothing but rubbish.
If oneself was able to have that kind of feeling towards another person.
Don't push your luck too much.

Examples of lovely couples are all around.
You don't see weeks of friendship turning into fantasy lovers do you?

' I seen some '
Yes. How long?
2years? 4years?

Have your fun, before you get dump.
It applies to everyone. Not only teenagers.
Complain, whine, emotionally stress-out ain't gonna help.

' I'll make full use of my life from today '
Who can't say this?
But who are the true people who mean what they said.

Life is unpredictable.
Who knows, you might just fall dead on the ground on
the following day.

Putting down the past is possible.
Forgetting the person is likely a diffcult task.

By accomplishing what you think is possible.
Will only bring you further in life.
Ranting about ' Oh, his/she's one person who I will NEVER forget '
Check the dictionary & find out the true meaning of ' Never '

I hate to see friends ranting about this bullshit feelings over & over & over again.
In the past, I don't deny, I was one of them.
But, c'mon. Face it.
Turn yourself another way, face reality.

Living in fear with that sentiment of losing faith in the opposite sex
is nevertheless. Agreeable.
Then again, single for life?
Just because of a past mistake?
Throw you future into the drain because of that guy/girl?
Be a good for nothing piece of crap crying by the roadside daily, ranting about the pass?

Some may pity you, some will just laugh their ass off over how silly you are.
To those who think I don't know anything about forgetting the one you loved once.
Be it.
I don't wish to join your emotional group of losers ranting
at the void deck sharing tissue papers.

& to friends, though some word was used harshly in this post.
I don't mean any harm.
Just a message to wake you up.
5million people.
Its IMPOSSIBLE to not find TRUE love.

P.S Jos, wake up. (:

ta bu zhe de ni de ai

2008-04-08T03:55:00.000+08:00

Monday's post.

8th April, didn't know time passed so fast.
Last week of holiday before school reopens.

Too much thinking makes the time passed faster
instead of the opposite. *Sigh*

Back from my recent weekly slacking alone
below my block nearby my house so call 'stadium'
Its a good way to release the stress I'm currently
facing.
Bought a small little bottle of liquor which cost me
$15 bucks.
It was the 1st time I drunk it purely, together with a packet of
cigarettes within 1hour.
Shocked when I open my packet & saw zero sticks left inside it.
Reminisce of the past as I sat there looking at those kids
making their way to the bus stop, making their way to school.
Sweet moments, if only I had treasure those times during pri/secondary school.

2 pure weeks of rotting at home.
I hope this saturday wouldn't be the same.
I miss my friends.
Miss those times I hang out with them.
Even though it was a simple outing, but I just like the bonding between us.
I wanna turn back time before my birthday. I seriously do.
It was the last I met up with all of them.
Some moved on with life with their classmates,
some got married,
some just went missing without a word.

Was caught in a dilemma till I though of the joke that my father's friend
send to him eariler in the evening.
I couldn't stop laughing to myself upon thinking about the conversation through the phone.
I'm sorry I don't have the voice record! >.<
But the conversation was like this...

An Arab being interviewed at the US embassy.

Consul : Your name please?
Arab : Abdul Aziz.
Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six times a week.
Consul : I mean, "male" or "female"
Arab : Both male & female, sometimes even camels.
Consul : Holy cow!?
Arab : Yes, cows & dogs too.
Consul : Man, isn't that hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style!
Consul : *tsk* Oh dear.
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast.

Oh my fucking gosh, I can't stop laughing upon
writing this down.
It just crack me up badly. Well, for me though x)

....

2008-04-05T05:56:00.000+08:00

Truth or Lies?

Does any of this 2 factors bond the relationship?

It was the date where both met up together at a restaurant nearby,
love at first sight makes oneself nervous & anxious.

They placed their orders together after a tough time
thinking about what will the conversation be once
the order as being place.

10minutes after placing their orders.
Both sat there speechless till a waiter came over to
asked the man if he would like coffee or tea.

Man replied : Coffee with salt please.

Stared with wondering eyes around him, he stayed claim.
Shocked & curious over why he wants coffee with salt
instead of sugar.

Woman replied : Why are you so strange? Whats with salt & coffee?
Man : Salt reminds me of my childhood when I was living back home by the seaside,
the taste of salt reminds me of the time I spend with my parents during
surfing.

Woman : You must have miss your home very deeply.
Man : Yes I do. But not as much as I would miss if I had skip this dinner with you.

She blushed for a moment.

After a hour at the restaurant, they decided to make a move.

A year passed, both man & woman fell in love with each other
before getting married.
& every morning without fail, his wife will always
make coffee with salt added for her husband so much so that
he would always remember about his childhood 20years back.

He drinks the coffee with a smile on his face
every time he looked into the eyes of his beloved wife.

After 10 years passed, her husband met up with an accident
that leads him not further from death.
On the day he left his beloved wife, he wrote a note saying..

' I'm sorry I lied to you for the past 20years,
on the very 1st day I saw you at the restaurant, I fell deeply in love with you.
I was so nervous on that day that I ordered coffee with salt instead of sugar.
every time when you made that coffee for me in the morning, I drank it
with a struggle, but I told myself that this coffee is worth drinking,
because you're all I ever wanna be with. That coffee is the symbol of me love
for you. Please forgive me for lying to you about my past at the seaside &
all this years.
I love you, my wife, my life. '

Mend the lies,
only truth love will forgive what you done.
Avoid repeating it.

.....

2008-04-04T05:01:00.000+08:00

Thursday.

Woke up after a 2hours of nap before training.
In between training, eyes were falling.
Ask 'sister' to help train abit while I went to take another short nap.
Training is seriously corrupting my sleeping time.

Well anyway, before I hit the beds.
Friend message me in MSN to ask if I was available to help
out with his interview for his project.

Was very actually a semi-survey about
couples at the age of 14-19 & 20-above.
Well, here goes nothings.

1st ) Have you being in any relationship?
Yeah.

2nd ) Was it a good experience? Why?
Both good & bad.
You learn to open up to your surrounding
& learning from the mistakes.

3rd ) Did whatever happened between you & him/her affect your daily lifestyle? Why?
Yes, only after a serious relationship, oneself become mature.
& understanding of each other.
You learn to let go of everything & start afresh.

4th ) Are you still in a relationship? Why?
No, misunderstanding occur & therefore,
the other party sees no reason to continue being together.

5th ) Any 2nd thoughts of getting back with you old fame? Why?
No, once bitten, twice shy.
There's a reason for what is happening now.
& I see no point in getting back after what was clearly said.

6th ) Any happy moments together before/now?
Yes, every time spend was precise.

7th ) What went wrong during the breakdown? Why?
Lack of communication & trust.
Overwhelming protective attitude leads both to a point
where both party couldn't take it no more.

8th ) Feelings towards him/her after the breakdown?
Nothing much left.

9th ) Having anyone you wish to be with now since the last?
Yes

10th ) Thoughts of being with him/her? Why?
Maybe, it takes 2 hand to clap. (;

11th ) Which of the age gaps will you prefer your boyfriend/girlfriend to be? 14-19/ 19- above? Why?
19-above, their mindset is there.
Maturity is much older & obviously understanding is better
compared to the younger generation.

12th ) If you were to choose who to save during an unexpected accident.
Which will you go for? New girl or your old fame?
Haas, I'll save the old fame & join the new girl together in death. (;

13th ) What will you do if something happened to you girlfriend/boyfriend that resorts to being punch/slap by the other party?
I'll slash that mother fucker who slapped my girl.

14th ) What are your goals on? Why?
To let everything fall in place.
Rushing through a relationship won't last but lust.

15th ) Will you want the person you wish to be with changed to a better person to suit your character/personality? Why?
No, I love her for who she is. Not loving her for what she would try to become.

16th ) Why is it important for you to find someone you love to be together with you?
Life isn't complete without someone you love beside you. (;

17th ) If rejected, what are your plans?
Stay strong & continue to wait.

18th ) If accepted, what are your plans?
(; to cherish every single time I have with her.

19th ) Are you willing to waste money just to get your goals?
Yes & No, once in awhile, paying for the one I love, I won't mind.
On the other hand, love me for who I am, & not what I can give.

20th ) How much confidence do you have in yourself currently to be with him/her? Why?
0%, We just hardly talk to each other no more.

21th ) When was the last message received from him/her?
18th March.

:x

Its about all.
Short survey yet, having a difficult time trying to reply
to the questions! x(

2008-03-30T03:15:00.000+08:00

Saturday.

Nothing much happened to me this few days,
so didn't blog much. Wake up, train, eat, sleep.
A quick blog before my training starts. :D

DotA friends message me asking whether I wanna
join them for dinner & drink.
Due to the boredam at home for the past few days.
I went out with them today to get some fresh air outside. (x

Met yunie at city hall starbucks.
Went to the wrong starbucks. -.-'
Took a walk back to city hall to meet him before making
our way to Paulaner Brauhuas.

Arrived early, alvin & japster had yet to arrive.
Headed to cheers to buy a packet of cigarette.
Went back to Paulaner at about 8pm.
No seats! omg wtf bbq.

Went down to the bar to sit while waiting for a table.
Chatted abit. 1st outing thou, but yet we talked
like as if we met up quite a couple of times.
A simple outing, yet I enjoyed my time.
The girls there was hot. :x

8.30pm,
table was ready, went up to get seated.
Order a don't know what the fuck sausage with pork.
12inch sausage.
At first, the pork look ridiculous,
but when it entered my mouth.
Oh my gosh, the taste was fantastic.
$28! -_-'

Half of my weekly allowance gone just like that.
Was a simple outing, after dinner, took a slow
walk back to city hall before heading home.

Awww. My life is getting from pathetic to chaos.
Nothing much to blog about. :D
Till I find some interest in my own life.

Back to training. (;
Toodies.

2008-03-24T03:04:00.000+08:00

Sunday!

For once, I'm feeling great on a sundays.
Watching some replays this morning, 2am.
Was exhausted, replay was half way through,
slept on my keyboard.

Drag myself to the bed & knock off at 3am or 4am.
Lost track of the time during the replay.
Was soooo deadbeat that I was semi sleeping throughout.
Didn't switch off my computer & tv till after I woke up
at 10am.

Feels good to wake up early in the morning
for once!
Due to the screwed up lifestyle I'm having right now,
its a miracle to sleep at such a timing & waking up
before 11am.

Was in a very good mood due to my sub-conscience.
After all this years, I finally found the main key
to oneself own happiness.

Sub-conscience is what brings the character out of you.
Its so easy that people often neglect their
sub-conscience. It was till then I tried to find out
the true meaning of that.

Many times when you think what you're gonna do is wrong,
but yet you're doing it.
Its only after doing it, you realize that you
wasn't thinking only what was is done.
The outcome of what was gonna happened
is all in your conscience, but you're just out of control.

When your emotional problems are getting the better of you.
You feel sad because you want to feel that way,
but if changed to the opposite, you're feel
extremely overwhelmed & its a great feeling.

Many times after my breakdown, I felt emotionally unstable.
Its only after the mindset is changed to the opposite
thinking, my life changed alot.
People interfered with my life, which was a good sign.
Keep me up, stand up tall & walk through those rocky paths.

Be happy, think happy thoughts, & you're feel the
greatness within your conscience.

People said ' I tried to, but I can't get over her/him '
Its all in your fucking useless damn brain.
That's what you wanna do, that's why you're so pathetic.

' I can't get over it after ample of times '
You're weak. C'mon, wake up.
Switch your pathetic left back to reality.
Its not the end of the world for fuck sake.

Trust me when I say so (:
No harm trying unless you plan to be stuck in
that fucking hole which no one even plan to help
you out if you're that stubborn & arrogant.

Friends, parents cry & suffer when they
see you at this kind of status.
But by the end of the day, its you whom will make the changes
to you life.

' Leave me alone, I just wanna be like this, I'll die without him/her '
Having this thoughts is what I call 'stupidity'
Who gives a shit if you're wasting your time on something
not worth having.

18th wishes.
A new start,
A new resolution,
Cherishing what is left,
Removing those nuisance around,
Stick together as one,
Bond like we didn't bond before.

&

last but not lest.

A new Me. (:

P.S to those who have hatred in me.
please carry on. x)
I won't mind.
I'll wave at you when I pass by changi resort.

2008-03-21T02:32:00.000+08:00

After everything that had happened few weeks ago.
I came to a stop whereby I think enough is enough.

Making decision is a huge responsibility,
yet, it seems so hard to make the real choice.
It was a respect given that made the way she want it to be.
Drafting further and further as day pass.
Switching back to reality, cramp up at home.
Work, or not to work.
Its the holiday session again and I'm worried about what
is to be done during the break.
Whats worst is what will be done after National Service.

She made the move,
She took the 1st step,
She decided what is to be done.

And sometimes, the truth hurts.
Doubt about words spoken out whole-heartedly
isn't hurtful, but negative respond upon what
was told truthfully replied back in an unexpected way.

Oneself lost faith in everything during the 1st experience,
but yet, many overcome that phobia and move on with life.
Seems so easy, yet so difficult to accomplish

Tried to move on, but it hurts just to see
the atmosphere changing so rapidly.
It was just a wishful dream..
I'll take it as a well taught lesson.
1st wasn't good enough. 2nd was improving.
3rd won't be a mistake.
Pester no more. x)

After what happened this morning.
Slept at 7am. Woke up at 9am.
Teacher called & whine on the phone about me not going to school
for today's term test.
Mistaken by what was said to my father from my teacher.

I got a 30mins techno from him.
It's really screwed up when oneself doesn't get the facts right
before scolding.
What could be done was to get up which was not necessary.
Its was an ONLINE test.

Teachers asked for attention from students is pretty obvious they can't make the lesson interesting for us to give him the attention he needs.
And therefore whine about the grades during term test or whatever it is.

Another year has passed,
with nothing special to celebrate about.
Losing grip of the rope tied onto them...

2008-03-17T19:14:00.000+08:00

Monday!

Post regarding Saturday & Sunday's chalet.
Was too exhausted yesterday, so didn't find time to post. x)
Well, there goes.

Saturday! 15.o3.2oo8.
( Pictures uploaded will be at original size, if its too big. Close this window (x )
18years. How time flies.
Was thinking back during my 15th birthday,
when could I you know what, do it legally without
worrying if police or HSA came to ask for IC.
Now today is the day where I could do it openly.

Woke up at 2pm. Bath, got ready before leaving for
the chalet with my grandma & bro at 2.30pm.

3pm. Reached at Downtown East, check in to the chalet.
Rest for awhile.
Parents came at 3.30pm. Slept in the chalet before
the BBQ started.

4pm. The food finally came.
Relatives came 1st, followed by my tuition teacher.
Started the fire with my dad.

BBQ started at exactly 5.30pm.
Maple friends & friends was late. As usual,
so who cares, ate with my relative & tuition teacher.
It was a blessing I invited them too.
Otherwise, I would be lonely at the chalet.

6pm. pzpzpzpzpz came.
Ate abit & chatted for awhile before
dear ( Nezha ) & babytianshi came.
Not long after,
linnie, en, jen, en's sister & shino came along.

Too bad, not much good food was left. x(
So they are the leftover. Haas. But it was filling too.
Slack & chat till 11pm before cutting the birthday cake!
Oh my gosh, 2nd time.
I was shivering >.<
Don't wanna elabrate much, the following photos will
roughly give you a view idea how it went. :D

Cake bought by Linnie, en & Shino. Thanks. x)

Myself with dear ( xxNe369ZhAxx ) & linnie behind hiding! >:(

1am!
Wash up! Went into the chalet to watch TV.
Took 1hour to shower off those smell from my hair. Oh my gosh!
The smell, the cream.
1month of pimple cream! Don't wanna go out!
My face is gonna be screw up after today.

2am.

AppleBao ( Kelvin ) & ooSanTaiZioo ( Jeff )
Came with a bottle of martell!
Drinking time started. But didn't drink much.
Kelv force me to drink 3 glass of martell on rock. T_T
It was burning my whole body.
Went to bought green tea to mix abit.

3am.

Bro ( Xaeus04 aka jack ), Toh ( HSpearManH ) & Diana ( Nonsense )
Came.
I told bro to buy green tea. Not another bottle of martell! -.-
Well, anyway. Tsk tsk.

' 18th birthday, never drunk, don't go home ' : Said my bro.
Shag.

Sat down to drink.
Randy, kelv, toh, bro, dear, diana, linnie, en & zizu.
Our drinking club!

After an hour of drinking. Most of us were drunk.
Randy & bro, as usual drunken talking.
Spouting nonsense. Was entertaining,
everyone in the chalet was laughing their ass out.
Lets see some pics of those drunken people. x)

Our old bird! Kelvin & Jeff, old people are always shy with the camera.

HSpearManH!

Randy! xBlueblack! Semi Drunken.

Bro & Me! (x

Martell brought by Bro & Kelv.

Myself, randy & bro. Both monkeying around.

My past, my bro, myself. (;

Bro & Kelv forcing me to drink martell on rock. T_T

Kelv & Me. (;

Bro, Myself, Kelv, Jeff & Randy's back view! Our drinking club.

Lastly.
I would like to thank those who attended this chalet.
Your attendance was very much apperciated.
Thou, those expected to come didn't turn up
& those unexpected friends who turn up.
I would like to thank you again for giving me
a memorable birthday celebration!

- Jack ( Bro )
- Randy ( xBlueblack )
- Toh ( HSpearManH )
- Kelvin ( AppleBao )
- Jeffrey ( ooSanTaiZioo )
- Dear ( xxNe369ZhAxx )
- Keat ( XiaoZiZu )
- Kar Ming ( pzpzpzpzpz )
- Ying ( baBytiaNsHi )
- Linnie ( MisssyLin )
- Diana ( Nonsense )
- En ( OoabcoO )
- Jen ( OoabcoO 2nd user )
- Tutu78
- En's sister
- ShiNo

2008-03-13T05:53:00.000+08:00

Wednesday!

Nearly overslept again.
But thankful to my grandma. She woke me up just in time for me to leave home to sit for my exams. (x

Shower, get changed, tie my hair, off to school.

1pm,

Went into class. Waited for the teacher to pass us the materials.
Stress. ~_~
Saw the work piece. Pause for a moment before getting started.
5hours passed, finally done with the practical.

Fingers sore, blister.
Pack up. & for no reason. My mood swing.
While tidying up the wires.
It was in a mess.
& at that point of time.
My life with the wires had something in common.
Its in a mess.

I don't know which way to go, untieing myself from the dilemma.
Every night before my eyes close.
I can see us sitting on the countryside,
laying side by side.

Its just I want. Which will never come true.
Just let me enjoy those moments. (;
That's all I ask from you.
Its not easy to recover from your 1st wound.

Understood, it takes time. But, is it worth the while?
At this kind of age...
I seriously believe in enjoying your youth,
with the one you love. If you have any.

Thou lesson learned, patients earned.
To wait for the next thing in life.
I just wanna be my old self. I really do.
I'm not moving further from you,
you're just pushing me away from you.

If I wrote you a love note, & made you smile at every word I wrote.
(what would you do?)
Would that make you wanna change your scene
& wanna be the one on my team?

If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me, baby its true.

2008-03-12T03:02:00.000+08:00

Tuesday.

Chosen this song for a reason.
Lyrics are meaningful. (x Enjoy.

Woke up late for class. Overslept,
so didn't went to school.

Lucky, friend called & said they're not gonna attend class.
Unlucky, hope the letter from the school doesn't come.

Well anyway, nothing to do in maple, so went to DotA.
Played throughout till 9pm.
Slack-ed in game.

But, most of my buddies were afk.
So, went over to msn to ask some friends if they were free to join me for a game or two in dota. (x

Played 1 round, 1hour game. -_-'
Went back maple for my zak.
Disappointment, again & again.

1st Batch, looted nothing.
2nd Batch, looted a skill which I have complete no use of it.

My retribution.
Didn't go to school, so no triple throw. )x

Believing in karma since the 1st breakdown.
I passed her blog, saw things that were not meant to be seen.
Well, I can't run from the problems.
So, I just read it.
Controlling my emotional feelings was put to the test.
I couldn't handle it, closed it.

People used to tell me about those stuffs
to keep me going on.
Envy me for?

In front, I'm living happily.
What happens after that? No one knows.
4days to birthday.
Sometimes, I feel excited, but then again..
I ain't looking forward to it.
Some friends which I hope to see isn't coming.

I just hope this 18th birthday isn't gonna be turn off...
I hope..

...

To love,
you must 1st love yourself, so they say.
But by loving yourself, whats the % of her loving you back..

Back to square one.
Rejection sure is hard to take.
Change me back if you don't want it to be this way.
I'm going berserk over what is happening,
just so you know.
I'm all about you.

...

2008-03-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

Monday.

5days to big day.
Waiting outside zakum's altar.
Frustrated over the triple throw, wondering when will I get it.

I wanna train.
As day go by, I login to rot.
& over seeing stuffs that were not meant to be seen.
Pissed off, but yet, can't do a shit about it.

Its been a long time since I experienced stuffs,
that I can't handle it properly.

Well, and they say to let fate decide out destiny.
I think its nothing but just full of rubbish.
There's nothing in this world that cannot be done as long as you believe,
so they say.

Sometime, I just wonder, if that step I took towards
the path which my heart told me to was really the way I want it.

To consider that person's situation, background, status.
Its just a crush, no love is involve.

But to love, no lovers will consider any situation
each will make them feel better.
Because it was love that brought them together.

True love is hard to find.
I'm beginning to understand the meaning.
One sided love is nothing.

Hard to find, yet harder to hold.
I'll leave if you would tell me to.
' I ain't loving you no more '

If you could say this straight in my face.
I'll go, otherwise, its that 1% that keeps me going on.

Love, means giving someone the ability to hurt you,
but trusting they won't.

I'll bear all abilities given if that could make you mine. (;
Your signs of getting irritated & frustrated are there.
I understand, I'll make that move. Harass you no more.

...

I got to move on & be who I am,
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand,
we might find our place in this world someday,
but at least for now..

I gotta go my own way...

...

Despite of everything you done,
eventually, they'll hate you.

2008-03-09T03:46:00.001+08:00

Saturday.

Woke up late for my outing.
2pm, called randy, went to shower & get ready.

3pm, randy phone off. nb jiby.
Pissed off, went off without him.
Waited for the bus, he called, told him I'm on the way to town.
So decided to meet him there.

Met linnie, saw my princess for awhile thou.
Just awhile. :P
Went to ps to grab something to eat while waiting.
Talked to linnie about 30mins before my phone ring again.

Headed back to bunk to meet randy.
Waited for zizu, he took damn long. So we went to clock.

7pm, walk to Cathay, half way through, zizu said go check PS's time slot.
Turn back, went to PS.

Full, Sold out, Filling fast.
Fuck it. U-turn back to Cathay.
Bought 11.30pm show. 10,000 bc.

8pm. 3hours to go. -_-'
Went to lanshop opps parklane. Played counterstrike with
linnie, randy, zizu & teng sheng.
LOL, it was fun though. (; old school game.
Played till 11pm before paying & went back to Cathay
for our movie.

Got seated early.
For that short period of time.
Sudden thinking just flashes back into my mind.
Cried, bow head low, didn't wanna be spotted with tears.

Its amazing how time flies as the feeling fades.
Love, crush, I don't know.
You were the light in my heart that will never go off,
no matter how much water you pour.
It will shine, the light will always be there.

You're all I think about.
Its my part, I think too much.
Especially when the thinking is impossible.
The pain hurts alot. Trying to accept it.
I don't wish to be like this. But I know I gotta try, somehow. I must.

You're so near, but yet so far.
Its time...

to say farewell.
I shouldn't expect much, so you say.

Just so you know,
I'm craving for what you can give me. (;

2008-03-08T03:20:00.000+08:00

Friday.

Woke up at 3pm. Skipped lesson.
Couldn't wake up. Missed my exams. Haas.

Was too pissed of over what happened yesterday,
couldn't get to sleep untill 6am.
Lay on bed for 2hours staring, thinking,
wondering.

I broke my promise by using vulgarities on the opposite sex.
Regretted alot.
I'm a person with an attitude that no one can ever changed me.
Its what I am, can't live with it, so be it.
Get lost, move far, avoid me.

I'm your friend,
I'm your buddy,
I'm your brother.

I'm there when you're down. But I just hate the
way you treated me.
I'm not someone for you to vent your emotional break down,
frustration & anger.
If you have a problem, you talk nicely.
I won't mean entertaining your problem. But please,
don't use me as your punching bag.
I don't tolerate this kind of bullshit.
When you're bored, you look for me.
When you're surrounded with guys whom you wish to be with.
I'm a nobody.

How many times I tried to control my anger.
But maybe that's you. I tried to accept you for who you are.
It reach a limit whereby I can't take it anymore.
I took more then a step back from you.
I don't wish to get hurt again. Its hard to accept the fact
that you're no longer into those times where
we used to enjoy being together.

Girls complain about guys.
Guys too, on the other hand complain about girls.

But the problem isn't with any of them,
its how the situation falls into.

Lovers will always stay strong till
the Love is gone.

From lovers. Protect the L.
Before its over.

But I don't stand a chance to hold that letter L in
my place. Insomnia.
I wish I could just tell you why.
I'm feeling so awkward.

Some say, let fate decide you ways.
Fate? where to find fate if the chance isn't there for you to grab.
Love can't be forced, understandable.
That's why I sit here, from the very back.
Looking at you when you smile
with a beautiful face.

Its time to move on, but I can't move on
till what I wish to say be said.

....

I want you not because you're who I thought you are,
Its because you spotted me when I was invisible.

2008-03-05T05:22:00.001+08:00

Wednesday morning.

Goodness, its 5.12am now, just finished training.
Since theres no school tomorrow, I'm gonna have a good sleep tonight.
Still, have to wake up at 12noon for my training. ;x

Back to games is great, i miss the old days,
but I'm back to the usual days where people claim as.
'Lifeless'

Well, who cares, as long as i'm happy with it.
I don't see why i need to please those around me. (;

But, playing games. Often i get caught up it with till
i neglected those friends i'm close with.
11days to big day, & i don't know why am i not feeling excited.

Too many things are happening & i don't wish to celebrate a
lousy 18th birthday.
I just wish i could turn back the clock when the thoughts
are just about you & me.

I need it so badly.. But its just a wishful dream.
Many times i tried to get close, but those around you,
just drag me down.

Confused, putting a strong front, but deep down.
I'm blank.
Maybe thats what you are. Its time i start to accept it.
But by accepting it, will what i hope to have come to me?

....

Learning throught love experience is diffcult,
but its only when mistakes won't be repeated.
Putting the heart to the test,
is the risk i must take.
I can't understand why can't one just be with the one they wish to be with.
Instead of having many.

But to any situation, your rejects
just won't let the heart start.
The moments were to be used to make
its move, but its when, you took the step
to push the away the followed footsteps.

I wish everything will be what i wish for
on the very day. 15th march.

18years living in this world.
This is the worse upcoming birthday feeling i'm currently going throught.

....

your actions were my everything.
your words is what i pray for.
your appearance is what i'm in need for.
your smile is all i ever need.

you're just the one i wanna be with.

2008-03-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

Tuesday. ~_~
was waken up by grandmother to eat lunch.
a quick blog! xD

11more days to big day!

I'm not sure if what I'm blogging now is completely facts.
Cause I just woke up, & my mind is currently not working so well.
I'm still semi-waken.

Went to school at 1pm to take my phase test.
Was nervous, didn't had any clue of what kind of test it was. ;x
My attendance in my school speaks for itself.

Well, before I went in, friend told me it was easy.
Indeed, it was ;x
Completed everything within 2mins, hand up to teacher
& left for home at 1.15pm.

Went online awhile. Then went to sleep. x)
Didn't sleep for like 24hours. Suffering from insomnia again.
Tsk tsk.

But not totally. I went to dreamland for a short period of
2hours from 4am-6am.
I love it alot. It was an amazing dream I had. :D
HAHA, for me to know, for you to find out.

But still, some say dreams are opposite of reality.
I hope not. :(
I want that dream to be reality. I seriously love it.
Then suddenly woke up at 6am. Pissed off.
Thought I could live in fantasy for like forever.
Trained with my bro till 12noon, rest for awhile
before my shower then off to school.

Smoking kills, I could feel my lungs aren't feeling the same no more.
For a moment, I was happy.
I could leave this pathetic world.
I just can't take the pressure anymore. I don't wanna continue this.

But, the things around me just pushed me to up...

I don't know what to do. I think I'll stop here..
Back to dreamland. x) Its better there.

...

I'm 99% sure you don't like me,
but its the 1% that keeps me hanging on.

2008-02-28T01:50:00.000+08:00

Wednesday.

Quite awhile since I last blogged.
Well, heres one to keep it alive for awhile. (;

Life is normal for now.. I guess, can't be bothered thou.
Looking forward to 15th march!
2weeks from now.

Can't wait for that day to come.
Couldn't be bothered to think what I'm gonna do after that.
But oh well, step by step.

Went to school as usual, missed out alot in school.
Didn't attend school for the past week.
Was suffering from insomnia, awww, don't ask why.
Don't know why I'm suffering from insomnia too.

Tried to catch up with what I was losing out in school.
Was struggling, but no choice. I just had to do it
after the interview I had with my teacher.

Come to think of what was told this afternoon by my teacher.
I really don't know what I want now.
I can't concentrate well in class, my mind is confused.
Trying to be like what I was like when I was 13years old.
Carefree, no worries, no suffering, no torture, no problems.

But its just a wishful dream, not that I can't,
but its just the surrounding I'm dealing with.
So much so that everything happened too fast for me to
even decide what must be done, what must be left alone.
I brought myself to this stage, can't blame anyone but myself.
Easy to release, hard to control.
Don't wanna get back to square one. Just letting
everything take its place. I want what I want.
Thou its just my thinking, I hope it will be what I prayed for.
I just wanna achieve this right now.
Thats all I need.

Friends told me what to do after that?
Will you be like what you used to be? hot tempered?
I don't know, I didn't wanna think that much.
I just want to get what I seek.
Might not be completely, but.. I'm just not mentally prepared
to suffer the consequence.

awww, screw this shit. (;

what will the reply
be if the question
was gonna affect you
for a lifetime?

2008-02-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

Yawn, Sunday again.

Woke up at 2pm, dota friend called to ask me join him in a game or 2.
Wasn't fully awake yet, so went back to sleep.

Fully awaken at 2.30pm.
Saw my princess 1st message. -.-'
What a reply.

Well, anyway, whole family was out except my dad.
Went to my auntie house.
Having a big headache, drunk too much last night.

Went online maple. & this is what made my sunday
not boring, but totally screwed up.
Things didn't went well with my close friends.

Argument arise during the conversation,
its sad & heartbreaking to see the ones
I walk with in my life for 2years to have an
unnessecary argument over a pathetic game.

The game brought me lots of close friends,
but at times, when greed overcomes oneself,
he/she changes. Its not a good sight to see
people who get too uptight with their games
till they start to neglect & think of the conqeusence.

Friendship is 101% more important then game.
This is say again, the game is there to make friends
get closer to each other. Not to compare whose better.
Thought at this, you wanna be the best, but you can't.
Move on, who gives a shit if you're top.

Its not like S.R Nathan is gonna award you with a yearly
supply of cash.

20days to my big day & its getting from bad to worse,
day by day, situation is getting out of control.

I know whatever happened today is gonna affect the
2years of friendship. But I pray & hope everything
will settle down as soon as possible.

Not because I wanna celebrate my birthday with you guys,
but also, I don't want our friendship to be ruined over a game.
To you, its worth the while, but its not to me.

My friends are getting lesser & lesser as day goes by.
Its not a good sign, I'm starting to cherish those around me.
But at times, my personality & character make those
whom I wanna be with get further & further from me.

My friend, you know who you are,
what you do at night, appear by noon.
I hope this is a well-learned lesson for you,
friend is what you need, not game.
Game is just to pass time.
Today, you have seen who are your friends,
& who are not.
I've been throught what you're going throught now.
Please wake up. Face the facts, don't escape.
Those who called you friends once, but not anymore.
Ignore, remove, throw. You don't need them.
Those who stand by yourself no matter what you did,
are your friends. Even thou you screwed things up yourself.
By the end of the day, we're still here for you.

1st love isn't a easy task to overcome, but
together with those around you, its a matter of time
before you get over it.
In the process, emotional problems occur while being alone,
reminisce on the past, no questions asked, rest,
wake up the following day.
Put the past behind, look towards the future.
Cry, if you must. Release those tears that has been
haunting you for the past week, months, years.

Searching for a true love isn't easy.
Being called a flirt, isn't a nice thing to hear,
but what can you do? You're just searching for the one you wanna be with.

Thou, rejection sure is hard to take.
Just accept it. Dilemma?
Be it. Let it go once you're done.
Its part of life.
Easy to find, hard to keep.

.....

As the clock moves, the thoughts stopped on
the clock where the messages whom was send
by her let the warm loved feeling move in.
No doubt you're fading, but I just have to
dream about the fantasy be with you.
Pray for a miracle, hope for the best,
avoid the mess.

.....

96#436#24#96#33#7464#24#33#77462377.

(;

2008-02-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

What a day to blog.

Well, here goes. Nothing much to blog anyway. (;
Went to town to get a little something for my cousin.

Bought her a awwww, find me to know. x)

Went to rocky master to eat lunch. Wrote her something.
Princess & Jas was there waiting for us.
Sat there like an idiot for 2hours? or longer.
Didn't keep track.

Princess went off at 7.45pm.
Boredam. Slack more, went to bunk. Fucking 3 coms used
can't go in maple.
Pay & went off. Headed for macdonalds.
Ate nuggets & continue to slack more.
10.30pm. Went home.

Was too bored. Find someone to chat with via handphone.

Dude, move on. The fantasy she gave you was
only for awhile. Don't think further.
Its just temporaily. Don't expect much.

When things seems like they're going your way.
At split ends, she turns to a road whereby you don't wish to take,
but just to be with her, you followed her throught.
Many things occur inbetween.
Control, confident.
Be sensual, sensitive, sophiscated.

Accept it, don't deny it. Move on.

You can't stop yourself from loving her,
but you have to accept it, she doesn't feel for you.

Continue to love her, but if miracle happens.
She will fall for you. If not, quit dreaming.
don't deny it, face the facts.

She ignores, she can't be bothered,
she gives you cold shoulder,
she just irritated & pissed when she's done with you.
Move on, don't dwell on the past even thought it hurts alot.

Its just a way of life. Can't live with it?
Kill yourself.

....

Its about time, when history is gonna repeat.
Take a step back, get hurt now then later.
Reject the signs, search for a miracle.
Crash the heart, then to make a new start.
Cry to yourself, don't kill yourself.

....

Pathetic world we're all living in.
Screwed up, fucked up, given up on all hopes.
Back to the hole where everything started, again.

2008-02-23T03:40:00.001+08:00

LOL.

I can't stop laughing, but here is it.
I got nothing to blog, just happened that my bro was watching
this video that really crack me up badly. haha. ;x

Enjoy the video!

(;

Hope to meet my princess tomorrow.

2008-02-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

(;

Its 1.30am.
Came out from my 30mins shower.

Nothing happened much today, woke up, dress, left for school.
Reach school 1.14pm, nobody came. Called martin.
'Today no class' -_-'

tmd, wasted my time walking over.
Well, anyway, went home. Chill out for awhile.
Princess wanted to go bunk, so decided to go over to find her
after my window shopping.

Went to far east at 2.30pm. Walk around, looking for a present
for my cousin. She's coming 18th! Just weeks older then me.
Oh well, walked from far east to plaza singapura,
couldn't find any thing to buy for her.

Met up with my princess & jas. Bored to the max.
Sat at bunk like a jerk.
Not long later, finally out of bunk, went to ps to buy something
before accompanying jas to the foodcourt for his dinner.

7pm, yawns, princess & jas went home. Boring day.
But who cares, I get to see my princess. (;

Took a slow walk to bugis to meet up with some old friends.
Sat at a don't know how to explain place. -_-'
Ordered a jug of cocktail & beer.

Had a super looooooooooooooong chat with them.
Miss those times when we stayed back in school to have a round
of soccer match.
Seriously, I miss secondary & pri's school lifestyle.
Everything was just so carefree. No worries, no problem.
Just us.

Tomorrow's lesson starts at 9am & I can't get to sleep
with those nightmares & my mind is going wild with
those rubbish thinking.

.....

My life is getting more & more out of hand.
I can't stand a day not talking to her.
Its killing me.
Life is short, just hope & pray
everything will go smoothly. I'm lost,
confused, frustrated, irritated.

I'm just aint myself.
I used to agree with friends that life is cruel,
but then again, its how you control your lifestyle
& about how to fit into the environment.
I'm losing my touch & control.
Wondering how was it possible, knowing
I was fine before everything that happened.
Everything is moving so quickly.

I'll just have to catch up to time & let everything fall into place.
but.. I'm afraid I can't handle the outcome.
1 more day.
Off to my own paradise.
If I can make it out of there peacefully...
Hopefully I do... (;

.....

Till then, toodies.

2008-02-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

Tuesday Zzz.

Sigh, woke up.
On com, went online msn for awhile.
Saw my classmate online! WTF!
Told me he wasn't going to school.
So I didn't turn up for school too. :P

I just don't mix well with malay & tamil people in my class.
Racist? Maybe?
Don't know, can't stand those malay & tamil people in my class,
thou I had some malay friends from secondary school.
They are much better then those I'm having now in school.

Oh well, who gives a shit anyway.
Went out for lunch, chatted with my princess on the way.
Rotted at home as usual on weekdays.
Watch TV till 5pm.

My princess was moody =(
& I added salt into her wound. I'm so sorry princess.

5.30pm, left house to meet my father at toa payoh.
Lost my specs. tmd, went over to toa payoh to buy a new one.
Cost me $200! !(*@!(*@!(@&

Choose a brownish flamed specs. Wanted to collect it on the following week,
but to my surprised,
he told us to go back in 30mins. Oh my gosh, how efficient.
Went to had dinner with my father & walk around
toa payoh before collecting the specs.

While having dinner, told my dad about my cousin's coming birthday.
How time flies. she's 18th in 1week time
& I'm gonna be 18th in 3weeks.

Talk for awhile. Told me about how time flies.
Its really going too fast.
I can even recall those days when I was still taking my PSLE.
When my dad was nagging about me not studying.
& now, I'm already 18. Well, going. x)
Took those words strongly, aint no more gangsterism.
Time is passing so fast, I don't wanna miss out on anything,
don't wanna walk on the streets with worried face.
Thinking if someone is getting back at me.

When you sit down & really take to recall those
times when you're hanging out under your block with
your neigbhours playing soccer.
Its really a good memory.
If only I could just relive those moments during my childhood.

Basic principal is always the same.
No one know whats gonna happen tomorrow, cherish those around you
while you can.
Take the step before its too late for any regrets.
Make the 1st move before someone else does.
Being with those whom you think you feel comfortable being with.
Complete those jobs before its gone.

If I could just stop time from moving so fast..
I won't be so pathetic now. Guess I just have to start cherishing those around me.

& to those jokers out there.
Being it whether you're happy or unhappy with me.
Please tell me straight in the face.
Don't be a dog. Continue to life in your own world.
If thats your purpose in life.
Go ahead man, go ahead. Corrupt your life more.
Call me a coward if you must.
I don't see any reason to waste anymore of
my precise time to entertain you.
Convert those entertaining times to enjoying time.

Till then, toodies.
I'm off to meet my princess~
I miss her so so much. (x

.....

2008-02-19T01:56:00.000+08:00

Monday.

Woke up for once without my alarm clock.
Waited for my princess's message.
Replied her at 10am, still semi-asleep, replied & went back to sleep.
Sorry princess~ x(

Fully awaken at 12noon. 1hour before school.
Didn't went to school thou, grandmother called.
Told me my brother didn't bring key to school,
so, oh well, waited for him at home.

3pm. Gracious, can't go back to school.
Stayed at home, watch tv, chatted with my princess.
Played dota while she was busy with her work.

Life is sooo damn boring during weekdays.
Imagine during my holidays. Oh my.
Rot at home doing nothing. >.<
Hopefully I can get my maple equipment by end of Feb.
So I can start training to kill time.
Usual stuffs on weekdays.

Entertained myself with TV or chat with my princess when she's free.
Other then that, nothing much can be done.

10pm. Exercise abit, don't wanna look so shaggy.
3more weeks to birthday! Oh my gosh! I seriously can't wait for that day.

1year passed since I last celebrated with my
maple friends.
Hopping for those same faces to come celebrate this
memorable mature 18th birthday with them together with my princess of course. :p

......

Its come to my attention that when things
are just not going my way.
Selfish in a way, but yet, just want it to happen.
Love is selfish. Thats why this world is corrupted.

Then again, life isn't complete without your loves one
by your side.

Thou when signs for you to give up are there.
Believe in giving your 101% in everything you do.
The results will be amazing. Even if rejected.
All you can do is to tell yourself,
you tried your best.

Rejection sure is hard to take,
but then again, oneself can't force love
it takes 2 hand to clap.

Accept it,
Don't deny it,
Move on.

Jealousy arise in times, but its the test
you must put yourself to it.
Self-control is the best disciplinery action
that only yourself can handle it.
Ignore spoken words,
Take the trust whom he/she gives to you.
Love it, dote it, enjoy everybit of it.

....

Hopping for an outing this saturday. Sigh,
it sucks to have so little friends.
One can't make it, sadness overtake everything.

Till then, toodies!
Time for bed. Meeting my PS in dreamland.

2008-02-18T03:27:00.000+08:00

Saturday's Blog (;

Slept at 5am on friday, woke up at 10am.
Exhausted. What choice do I have, work for money.

Went to Eunos followed, office work.
Boring. Sat there for practically 4hours doing nothing but
just looking at white paper with black ink wordings on it. ;x
File them up. Key in some data.

Finally, 5pm. Knock off! Woohoo.
Make my way to Plaza Singapura to meet my same old friends.
Didn't really care thou ;x
Just wanted to meet my princess.
Met up with zizu, jas, linnie & pz. Randy was late, again.
Waited for him upstairs at the smoking area, before having lunch!
Staving, didn't had anytime for lunch eariler on during work.
pz went off while we were heading to the food court.

As usual, sat there, had lunch, chit chat for alittle while before
planning what to do next.
Decided to catch a movie.

Walk to Cathay, 11.25pm show! Goodness.
& it was only like 8pm?
3hours to showtime. Oh well, back to our saturday's drinking club! xD
Woohoo, went back to the same pub.

Ordered Bourdon Coke & Cranberry vodka.
linnie & jas ordered some disgusting pasta that gave me a
deep impression whereby it says ' please don't order me '
It was a total turn off.

Slack, slack & more slack.
2nd glass of vodka & jas was knocked out.
Talking at the top of his voice, he was high. What a drinker.
Face was red, mouth was moving non-stop.
Father mother coming out from every corner of his lips.
Was fun thor. Talking rubbish about each other. x)

The final part where all was knocked out with laughter.
True or Dare game.

Questions about true is boring.
Dare is where the fun begins.

Zizu's dare : ' ohhh, this tree is good. hug me more baby '
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, not true. but part of it. ;x

Jas's dare : ' wifey, wo ai ni. ' how romantic.
if only she was there to experience it face to face. x(

RANDY's dare : ' Jas, ni jin wan yo kong mah ? '
Jer : ' yo ni ma de cb la ' * chup *
fierce sister.
Lmao. can't stop laughing.

Nothing about me. (;
For me to know & for you to find out.
My question, my piroity.

10.44pm. Paid the bills.
Princess went to JP );

Walked to Cathay.
Waited outside before we could went in to get sitted.
L, change the world.

L is adorable & Handsome! but you wouldn't find anyone that is like him in reality.
Sad. If he does exist in reality,
he will be a laughing stock.

2hours 15min passed.
Show's over, went toilet, saw my dear! Oh my gosh!
Such a coincidence!

2nd round! Drink~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Went back to drink. -_-
Pack with people. Match was exciting. Man United vs Arsenal.
Jas & randy was dead. Couldn't handle the next glass of cocktail.
Drank 2 glass. Headache. >.< The alcohol is too strong if drunk in 1 shot.

Can't carry on no more.
Took a cab home. Shower~
Off to dreamland to meet my princess.

.................

Sunday -.-

_l_ed up day. Nothing much to talk about.
No events, just rotted at home with my computer.
Chat with my P.S.
Was having a headache from yesterday's drink. Took a nap, woke up!
my P.S sent me a cupid ring. O.O
Was surprised she send me that.

P.S ! Don't send me cause of what I gave you on V'Days!
I won't accept it as an exchange gifted. ;D
If you know what I mean.
So glad you have finally woken up from you pathetic fantastic
to move on with your life!
I love my P.S

To those other readers, skip this part. It aint for you anyway. (;

P.S ? No need to know.
She know, I know. Others no need to know. :P

The song played says it all.

Worth the heart,
Not for a new start,

But for a price that,
Only you can feed that bowl of rice.

A bell that makes the ding,
like the ring given in a blink.

Darkest past lighten up with
your sorrowful heart.

..

Fate brought us together,
Being your friend was a choice,
Loving you was beyond my control.

To love, its a gift.
To be love, its a blessing.

2008-02-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day!

Was into the mood, so woke up at 8am after a 3hours of 'sleep'
Thought I was gonna be late for class, but to my surprised.
I was the only one in class at that hour. Woot.
Did some practical till 11.30am.

Went to canteen to grab a little something to eat before going home
to get ready for the 1st celebration I'm gonna have in my life.
Valentine's Day on 2008.

Shower, did a little hair make-over before heading to Lavender to meet
my princess.
Took MRT to tampines. Jump&Pcc's WIFE was in danger.
Upon hearing that, he panic, took a cab from bukit batok to tampines.
Haas, how protective. Oh my gosh.

Went shopping for Jump&Pcc's WIFE's valentine's day present.
He bought a braclet for her.
Met up with xiaosia07 & went to the interchange to catch a bus to Simei ITE.
My princess is finally soon to be awaken, accompanied her to the school
to apply for a course.

5pm. Went to Cineleisure. Bought movie tickets for the show CJ7,
slack awhile at the foodcourt
before our regular milo peng drinker Randy came.

Walk around cineleisure to kill time before the movie started.
Played table hockey. -_-'
Basket, twisted my arm. Aching like crazy now.
Went to collect present before going back for the movie.

8.45pm.
Took a puff before sending my princess back home. Not exactly home,
but near her place. =x

...

From emotional situation partners to friends.
A feeling that cannot be explain occur during the process thou
its just a one sided feeling. x)

She entered my life shortly after my break down. I thank her for being there.
After those breakdowns.

Was no longer the same,
Became someone with a strong attitude problem.
Bad tempered.

Never care about how others feel,
Neither do I expect others to know how I feel.
Lost trust in everyone. Not even my closest kin,
someday, they might turn the tables on you.

UNTIL,

She whom I called princess step into my world,
didn't had any good impression on her.
Miraculously, after a short time of just 24days. I felt different towards her.
She let me felt love on earth thou we're not related.

STILL,

she changed my life,
i'll learned to cherish those around me,
i'll control my temper,
i'll control my jealousy,
i'll do anything to be with her,
she's all i could think of.
thou at times, neglected, a task to overcome.
with love that is so strong,
nothing could ever possibly step into the bond.
gave her a necklace with icons that explains it all.
for her to know & for me to seek. x)

BUT,

its hard to complete the unlinked heart
with all the unwanted nuisance, the longing for each to be link as one.
just a dream i wish i could just live with it.
But at times, reality strikes back & the longing for the
heart just can't be start.

i'm glad the 1st valentine's day was a wonderful moment.
i'm glad she join us for the outings.
i'm glad she tried to get into the mood after those breakdowns she had.

Questions running throught your mind, the seeking for answers.

Kept the gift till after the very last goodbye.
- was to give her a surprise.

Boarded the train till the very end.
- was to see the smile on her face.

Followed her till the end.
- was to spend time with her.

Bought her a little something not as a token.
- but as a simple love.

Didn't ask much.
- can't afford to handle the truth.

...

Even thought the numbers of days
had we known each other.
I'll walk the path that
lead us from the day we met towards
an endless route.
Bearing no hatred,
no anger,
but just you & me

its for me to seek & for you to find out. xD

Roses are red.
violets are blue.
but the same 2 feelings have no clue.

2008-02-14T00:53:00.000+08:00

Wednesday!

Left house for school at 1pm.
Today's lesson was pretty boring, but still, went for my attendance.
Teacher mumbling all the way, can't be bothered.
Teachers asked for attention because they just can't make us pay attention with their booooooooring theories ~_~

Well anyway, chatted with Jos in class.

12midnight! Happy Valentine's Day to one & all! Especially you princess!

Jos! you emotional fucker, this is for you!

Its just Valentine's day, so what if she rejects you.
You're not the only one in singapore who has being rejected.
The period between her & you are not more then a month,
Though I know sometimes, thou its just a short period, but feelings occur
inbetween those conversation you have with her.
But, how long will it last if she continues to be like this?
She just can't make up her mind, seriously,
you yourself know how she talks to you.
She doesn't have a clue, at this moment she misses you.
While on the other hand, she misses her preivous.
She's in a mess. Back off till she has settle down.
Its harsh, but lets not get ourself hurt like before.
Better to avoid then to get hurt, but if she's the one you wanna be with.
Like I said before.

Shower those you love with care & concern, not shower with cash.
Its sweet of you to buy her a gift. I understand, but you must understand
you situation.

Our age, cash flow is one thing, if she's with you because you're rich.
Don't bother (;
Love her WHOLE HEARTEDLY,
Dote on her,
Cherish her & give her the attention she needs.
A girl should love you for who you are, not what you give.
Its only then, the relationship will last.
Your charm is also your curse. =x

...

Its that time of the year again. Valentine's day.
Never celebrated Valentine's Day before,
so well, don't know whats so special. Didn't had any chance to celebrate. >.<
Best wishes to those lovely couples out there!
My blessings are with you! Good luck!

2008-02-13T03:21:00.000+08:00

Today's blog is just for my darling Princess

....

Kai Bu Liao Kou.

cai li kai mei duo jiu jiu kai shi
dan xin jin tian de ni guo de hao bu hao
zheng ge hua mian shi ni
xiang ni xiang dao shui bu zhao
zui du du na ke ai de mu yang
hai you zai ni shen shang xiang xiang de wei dao
wo de kuai le shi ni
xiang ni xiang de dou hui xiao
mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao
(mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao duo fan nao)
mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao
(mei you ni fan wo duo fan nao duo nan ao)
chuan guo yun ceng
wo shi zhe nu li xiang ni ben pao
ai cai song dao
ni que yi zai bie ren huai bao

jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
wo yi ding hui he hu zhe ni ye dou ni xiao
ni dui wo you duo zhong yao wo hou hui mei rang ni zhi dao
an jing de ting ni sa jiao kan ni shui zhao yi zhi dao lao

jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao
jiu shi na me jian dan ji ju wo ban bu dao
zheng ke xin xuan zai ban kong
wo zhi neng gou yuan yuan kan zhe
zhe xie wo dou zuo de dao
dan nei ge ren yi jing bu shi wo

...

Today was a boring day!
Did nothing, so no point blogging.
Today's post is for my princess.

Princesssssssssssssss.

ni yuan yi pei wo du guo qing ren jie ma? (;
till the awaited message.
Off to sleep! x)

2008-02-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

Monday. zzz

A new week, school starts, bored.
Woke up at 12noon, went online to chat awhile before
leaving for school.

Slept throughout school hours. Was too exhausted to do anything.
Today's class was abit bored too. From practical to complete theory.
Class ended at 3.15pm.

Reach home, had lunch, went online for awhile.
Buddies all afk, msn all afk, no one could entertain me.
So went to take a short nap.

Woke up at 5.30pm. Back to my chair & computer. -_-'
Talk & talk & talk till 10pm. Finally, a dota inhouse match.
Boring but yet, entertaining, killed 1hour of my time.

11pm already. -_-'
What a boring day, yet time passes so fast.
Chat with my princess awhile, before I went to shave.
lmao, cut myself on the cheek.

Arghh, I got nothing to blog!
Weekdays are just so boring.
Stopping here. Enjoy the song, if not, close this blogs.

2008-02-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

Sunday.

Woke up, whole family out.
Home alone till 9pm. No lunch, no dinner.
Practically stave the whole day.

Dota, chat, maple all day long.
Parents reached home at 9.30pm
Order mac for me, knowing I didn't ate for the whole afternoon.

Zzz..

every step that was taken from that day onwards, was to get closer,
its only till then, I was convicted that I can't live up to any expectation of a girl.
Time has shown the path, the way to take a step back.
Numb.

More or less, the answer is there, to take a step back or to continue
stepping towards the goal.
Surrounded with questions. & idiots are appearing to corrupt the moments.
Flirts are what make oneself lose confident in every aspect of your existance.
& unless, without great power from another, I see no way
you could turn the table around to the proper position.
Words, actions, gives out the personality you're having.
Putting yourself to the test, its diffcult, if somehow, you manage to pull throught,
Its when you turn into a changed person.

Till that someone decide to open that door from the outside,
its when you think that person will be who you wanna be with.
On the other hand, the other party don't seek the same thinking as you.

Thats when you're back to square one.
Situations alike are best to be left alone, before the wound reopens.
Upon understanding the personality that whoever is carrying,
will only the 2 hands clash & make a lovely sound.
Other then that, don't waste everybodys' time.
Show signs, movement.

20days & counting.

(; till then, toodies!

2008-02-10T02:15:00.000+08:00

Saturday afternoon!

Woke up late as expected.
Shower, get dress & left house at 3pm.
Went down to PCBunk to meet up with some friends.
XiaoZiZu, Jump&PCC, xBlueblack, xbubibubi, violentChaN, OoMrBoOoO & stephanie. my princess!

Went to PS for lunch, took a troll back to bunk to wait for violentChaN,
as usual, always last to arrived,
while waiting, went to Rocky Master to slack.

7pm, all arrived, headed to Cathay to catch a show time.
Kung Fu Dunk! 9.55pm. 2hours 55mins to do nothing!
Goodness, party time.
Walked to a open area pub to drink abit.
Shared Cranberry vodka with my princess while
Jump&Pcc shared heiniken with violentChaN.

Pictures of Before & after. Not all, just him ;x
The noob.

Excited, waiting for his beer to come! x)

After awhile...

lmao, our famous Jump&Pcc cannot take it.
Asked violentChaN to finish for him.

So sad, didn't took a pic of the others. xD

9.30pm, walked back to Cathay to watch the movie.
My princess was drunk. x)
Complained about having a headspin, accompanied her till she was leaving for Jurong.
Some snap shots of her. =p

How shy can she be. (;

C'mon! You can do better! Smile :D

10.30pm, went to watch the movie. Ended at 12midnight!
Bored, was dying of boredam, decided to went to a nearby lanshop to kill time.
Playing half way.. Thunder headache came.
Fucked up. Was totally blank, couldn't concentrate on the game.
Dizzy, headache.
Told them to end the game as soon as possible, so I could go home & rest.

2.30am ~_~
Just came out from the showers.
Till then! Thats all for today xD
I'm off to dreamland to meet my princess. x3 misses~
Toodies!

2008-02-08T04:25:00.001+08:00

Lunar New Year!

Woke up at 10am, sms-ed my princess before washing up.
Mother & sister still sleeping, so took my own sweet time, rest for a little while
before heading for the bathroom.
Took a 15mins shower before coming out, didn't know what set of clothes
to wear. So took quite awhile before I decided what to wear.

Went to wax my hair alittle before the whole family was ready to leave.
Left house at around 12noon, visited my grandfather before heading
towards Bedok to find my uncle.

Frustrated, waited under the hot sun for 30mins. Not even a single cab came.
Called a taxi instead of waiting any longer.
Damn the weather, made me sweat alot.

Sweaty & hungry, finally, the cab arrived, reach uncle house at 1pm.
1st thing was obivously out of question, greeted everyone a happy lunar new year
before having my lunch!

Boy, the food was simply delicious, enjoyed it alot.
Bloated, oh my, went to the sofas to sit with cousins. Took some pics.
- yet to upload >.< awaiting for the photos to be sent -
HAHA, took photos with me like I was a japan actor :x
Was quite fun thou, 1st time taking so many photos with cousins.

2pm, left uncle's place.
Took a bus to simei, visit another relative.
Fucked up place, couldn't find the address, walk like mad.
Sweat again, took a 30mins walk before we reach. The house was big & nice.
But yet, boring, nothing much to do.
Took a short nap before my mom woke me up.

3rd place. My auntie uncle! ( mom's side ).
Simei towards woodland, slept in the cab. Reach about 4pm? 5pm?
Not sure thou, didn't keep track.
Well anyway, cousins & auntie were playing mahjong, I was just watching tv. >.<
Complaining about the hunger that was killing me.
Ask auntie faster cook, so I can eat.

7pm, watch channel 8 show & had dinner.
Rest awhile after the show before my family decided to take our leave & go home.
Was too exhausted after all the walking & travelling.
Reach home, rest awhile before heading for the showers.
Ang Bao money wasssssssss so little this year.

Rotted.
&
Rotted.

2am, hunger started. Wanted to cook some food, but the fucking frying pan is spoilt.
No heat. -_-'
Cheebye. Gastric started! Oh my tian, no medication. Ate biscuits. Drank a cup of milo.
Pathetic.
Moody.

....

don't pissed me off at the wrong time please jos.
know your limits, I don't have that much patience as you do.
fucktard, don't test my strenght.

....

2008-02-06T19:33:00.000+08:00

Arhhhhhhh.
My blog! Introduction got error after changing my picture >.<
Look stupid thou, but I like!
Waiting for MY princess to help me =X

Anyway!

Woke up at 12.30noon today. -_-'
Threw my bloster away for awhile. =X went to wash up. wahahah.
Went back to hug my bloster for 20mins before I went for my shower & off
to bugis to meet my mother!
Bugis was so packed, not just packed, packed with gangsters. diao.
So suggested to go to wisma(topshop) & far east to get my clothes for chinese new year.
Reached wisma at about 3.30pm, saw a pink top, found it cute. =X
So I bought it, went to far east to get shades & belt.
PINKKISH SHADES. LMAO,
Mother : ah boy, since when you became so gay. -.-'
rofl, cannot take it. Just kept on laughing.
Bought a jack daniel's belt. Cool thou. Shops were all closing, so nothing much to do,
went home.

Dinner time!

Just finish my reunion dinner. This year was a disappointment thou.
Only my family & grandmother.
Unlike last time, whole family, meaning, aunties & uncles family come together to eat.

BUT ;

Whatever, I enjoy it. & today was the 1st time in my life whereby I ate my 1st abalone. ;x
I find it so-so, nothing special. Steamboat is always filling.
My, my, I'm so full now.

Looking forward to tomorrow's 'PAYDAY' collection. Can't wait for count the cash.
Hope its more then last year. >.<

Fuck it. I got nothing else to bloggggggggg. Bored. -____-'

a.
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d.
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g.
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k.
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m.
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q.
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s.
t.
u.
v.
w.
x.
y.
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z.z
~_~

lame.
yawn.

lmao. fucktard.

2008-02-06T03:44:00.000+08:00

Staring Posting.
Create.

-Blank White Background-

My princess wants me to blog. Don't know what to blog.

..
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T
h
i
n
k
i
n
g

O
f

W
h
a
t

T
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B
l
o
g

~.~

Woke up early today, surprisingly. As usual, on com, stare at desktop.
Aww, fuck it, my backbone is giving me problems.
Over did my execrise yesterday. Shag. Push over the limit.

Grandmother was doing house cleaning. Can't clean tomorrow~
Chinese new year stuffs I guess.

Rotted like mad, watch the same old programs shown on TV.
Father got home at 7pm, gave me a black face. I thought what the fuck?
Then he show me the letter of absence sent from my school. lmao. gg.
At that moment, I knew I was gonna get nag for hours.
True enough, while having dinner, heard him give me free techno lesson for 2hours.

After it was over. Fucked up, moody. Didn't like it. But, oh well, its what parents do.
Watch the 9pm-10pm show. Went into maple, thought I could get less moody inside.
But it didn't help much, went to afk, continue with my exercise.

Thought about what my father said to me. Push against my limit again.
Left shoulder is aching badly. I tried to write, but I can't, didn't know why did it affect my fingers.

Rest for 30mins before I had my shower. Came out, talked in maple for awhile before
logging out. Nabei.
Jump&Pcc with Jeff, go channel 20 find a girl come talk to me.
Ask about being together in game. _l_
Am I that cheap? cheeeeese pie. -_______________-''

Went YouTube to watch some videos. Chat with joseph & stephanie in msn.
My princess is requesting for today's blogggggggggggg.
Heres you're blog princessssssssss. men yi le mah. >.<
Chatting with her & blogging, didn't know what to say. -_-'
Treat your pillow with care! If not I'll abuse my bloster! >:(
Go sleep after reading this. Lie with care.

This is where the screwed up part started. Cheese pie.
Forgot I put my cigarette into the green tea can, went to take a sip.
Oh my fucking gosh, I drank the ash! DISGUSTING!
Went to take a can of new green tea to remove the fucking smell. Can't!!!!!!!
Smellyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tmddddddddddddddddd,
still trying to remove the smell. Its bad, I'm having soar throat, now with this ash.
Oh my, it worsen it alot. -_-'
Coughing like crazy now.

.....

Joseph, you fucking bitch, talk to you, don't want listen.
Now you feel have the pain, continue to go with her, you'll gonna suffer x10 the pain
you're going throught now.
For pity sake, you're been used as a subtitude, don't disgrace yourself,
have your pride, make you move.
Get away from the rotten goo.
1 word to descibe her.
WORTHLESS!

But you're one lucky bastard that I know you for almost my whole life.
If not, I'll ask you to stop pestering me & kindly fuck off.

......

Happy Chinese New Year EVE!!!
1 more day to the collection of my 'PAYDAY'

Angbao lai lai lai~~
woohoo.

2008-02-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

Tuesday morning. 2am

Frustrated, confused by my surrounding, using this to vent it as much as possible.
What a day whereby my handphone is spoilt, 2days away from chinese new year. _l_
Just had supper.
Father was talking, nagging to my sister & myself.
About the things we're currently undergoing, pressure is increasing.
Getting more & more strict nowadays, its either his under stress in his job,
or he just mean well. I don't know.

Anyway, woke up at 10am this morning thanks to the macdonald man.
Spamming my house phone, destroying my door.
Thought my mom would answer, but when I woke up, no one was home.
lmao.
Quickly open the door & apologize, told him to keep the reminding change as tips. (;
Slept 4hours today. Feeling tired & depressed, I'm tired, but I just can't close my eyes.
Too many things to think about.

Went to school at 1pm, got home by 3pm or so.
Dying of boredam. Played dota, maple.
Chat on msn, stuffs. Nothing much to do anyway.

Yawns,

Rotted like a dog at home. Watched 5.30-6.30 show.
Followed by 7.30-8.30pm
& not to forget 9pm-10pm show.

Chatted in game awhile before I went for a short exercise.
Did alittle overboard, muscles are aching.
Rest for 30mins, gastric started, no appetite when dinner was serve.
Control the pain till 12midnight till I decided to order macdonalds. again.
Yeah. lmao, got cursed by the idiot stephanie. Ask me to die early.

How I wish I could, life's miserable. I see no point in continuing this life no more.
Lets hope something bad happen to me soon, end all this misery.
Pray for a better life in the next world. ;D

....

C'mon bro, seriously, don't be dumb. You're just ' the REBOUND GUY '
She is just using you to forget her ex.
You're just a subtitude. She aint loving you, just using you. Be smart please.
If she's in a mess, you better step aside, or you're get yourself into the mess.
Althought love is blind, but love the person if you think you can find happiness with.
Don't make it a one sided love, you'll just get hurt.
One day, she may just say it out loud ' I miss my ex-boyfriend alot '
How are you gonna handle this unbearable situation? Think twice.
This is what I got to say to you. Take care my friend.
Always here with open ears for you. Text me if you must. (;

Love, means giving someone the ability to hurt you, trusting they won't.
Remember this.

....

2008-02-04T05:01:00.000+08:00

Sunday afternoon~ o.O

haas. woke up as any normal sundays. 3pm.
Got a mega thunder headache. Boy, the liquor was that strong to make it stay in my head.
Whole family went out to buy chinese new year clothes & left me alone at home.

Didn't really do much thou, played maple, dota, watch tv.
Boring sundays.

7.30pm, watch Triple X.
Old show, but what the hell, just to pass time. Ended at 9.30pm
Family all back from shopping & mama bought me a green shirt. >.<
Looks cool. She done my shopping for me. ;D

10pm, watch Final destination 2.
Fucking lanjiao show. Singapore too fucked up. Censored those cool parts.
Spoil the whole show. Watched half way till I slept. -_-'
Woke up at 12midnight. Watch HBO.
Boring shows. Went to maple. Woot, whole buddy was so pissed off.
>.<

Felt like a jinx, logged in & see all vulgarities coming from every angle. =x
Whatever it is, chill babes, hunks.

Thats lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Get over it. In terms of relationship.
Theres no ' blame me for being a lousy girlfriend / boyfriend '
Its just your luck if your girlfriend / boyfriend doesn't love you no more.
Painful feeling, but, you have to move on.
The heart is the strongest muscle, but why wanna let it break so easily?

Get things back to normal with your girlfriend / boyfriend?
Congrats, but, will the same argument occur?
Don't think short terms, think long terms. Its only from that kind of thinking.
Your relationship bonding grows stronger.
Rushing into a relationship is seriously a pathetic way to get together

UNLESS

Your feelings for each other is true, don't get into a relationship if
the other party don't feel the same for you man. Its a waste of time.
Get a LIFE will ya. Its not all that. xD

Sign out,
MELVINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ROCKS!
Thank you thank you. muacks all. =D

2008-02-03T05:04:00.001+08:00

Not gonna change blog song.
I find it nice, especially the chorus. xD

back to reality.

Saturday! What a great day to have fun.
Slept at 8am, woke up at 1pm ~_~
Was quite tired & all, but I aint gonna spoil saturday's outing by rotting at home on my bed.
Got up, on com, went to shower while loading.

Went into maple to ask jas & randy to get ready before we really go out to kill some time.
Took half an hour to 'make-up' a little ;x

2.30pm! Left house, went to the bus stop, met randy in the bus.
Reach bunk about 3.20pm or eariler. Went to bunk to find jas & zizu.
Met up with them before moving on to ps to have lunch.

As usual, while eating, chat & talk nonsense for quite awhile.
left the food court & went back to bunk.
While smoking, saw linnie. She was with her mom. Was gonna meet us after her shopping.

Well, this is the part where it gets damn boring.
On coms, play awhile till I met aizai & sub there with sub's girlfriend.
Clock once or so.
While clocking, stephanie sms! Told me she saw me at bunk.
But I didn't see her around. Thats unfair. >.<
Had our conversation practically throughout the night.

6.30pm! violentchan arrived, went to rocky master to have dinner.
yawn, was bored, decided to catch a movie at cathay.

Oh my gosh, no movies. all M18, & I had 3 under 16 with me. =(
All was disappointed, then zizu, for the 1st time came up with a great idea!
Slack & drink. Woot.
Went to an open so called pub opps Parklane,
Sat there, drank liquor & watch 2 games of football.
Linnie was down, so didn't concentrate much on the football game,
tried to console her together with
the other members.

Bourdon Coke & Vodkaa Orange! It was nice.
Jas & linnie said the vodkaa orange was bitter, but thats how alcohol taste like. xD
- Pictures will be uploaded tomorrow! -
Photographer went to sleep. >.<

1am ._.

Walk to bugis, as usual, went to find a lanshop to kill somemore time.
Scrolling session!

Jas earn his bottom.
chan scrolled his zakum helm.
I myself just earn a 20str top only. >.< with luck from my princess again ;D

Randy bomb his helm. LMAO.
His reaction was like a fucking ah gua. Screaming like a damn dog in the lanshop.
rofl, can't help it.

All of us had to have a good laugh. Decided to call it a day, off the coms,
went to wait for taxis.

5am. ~_~ goodness.

.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.

Out from bathroom! Oh my, I'm coughing like mad now.
Throat has being giving me a problem this few days. Dying! ;D

Thats all for now! Toodies~
WAKE UP SMS! You know who.

2008-02-02T04:41:00.000+08:00

Old school band with a brand new solid song. (;
Enjoy.

..........

I close the door.
Like so many times, so many times before.
Felt like a scene on the cutting floor.
When I let you walk away tonight without a word.

I try to sleep, yeah.
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me.
A thousand more regrets unraveling. Oooh.
If you were here right now.
I swear, I'd tell you this.

Baby, I don't wanna waste another day.
Keeping this inside, it's killing me.
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you(to you).
I wish that I could find the words to say.
Baby, I would tell you everytime you leave.
I'm inconsolable.

I climb the walls, yeah.
I can see the edge,
But I can't take the fall, no.
I've memorized the number
SO why can't I make the call?
Maybe cause I know you'll always be with me.
In the possibility.

Baby, I don't wanna waste another day.
Keeping it inside, it's killing me.
Cause all I ever wanted comes down right to you (to you).
I wish that I could find the words to say.
Baby, I would tell you everytime you leave.
I'm inconsolable.

No, no, no.

I don't wanna be like this.
I just wanna let you know
That everything I hold in
Is everything I can't let go (ooh, can't let go).

Cause,

BABY, I don't wanna waste another day.
Keeping it inside, it's killing me.
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you (to you).
I wish that I could find the words to say.
Baby I would tell you everytime you leave.
I'm inconsolable.

Don't you know it baby.
I don't wanna waste another day.
I wish that I could find the words to say.
Baby I would tell you, everytime you leave.
I'm inconsolable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ooh, I'm inconsolable.
Woaa yeah yeah oooh.
I'm inconsolable.

..........

Friday, a day whereby I go out to have a drink or two,
but friends complained they're tired, so oh well, rotted at home.
Not surprised, but just disappointed that my life is just getting more & more pathetic.

I miss the past badly, seriously, I wish I could just turn back the clock
when I was in secondary 1. Times at that age was the best.
Cellphone ringing time & again, asked out by friends to relax, do alil shopping etc.
But I guess its all over now.
Got into maple, knew some cool friends inside who can accompany me when I'm down.
Just too bad they're all working & don't have that spare time to enjoy.

Maybe its time to go back to hang out with my age group.
But its just too boring. I perfer being with older people, they just got that common thing with me.
Well, I don't know, currently, my friends that are 14-16, are quite into my lifestyle.
Slacking outside, chatting, killing time.

Unlike other groups, complaining & whinning when we're doing nothing but just chatting.
Maybe thats the kind of lifestyle that teens are going throught currently.
Count me out on that.

Tomorrow's saturday, hope that friends are available to go out to kill some time with me,
instead of rotting at home on a saturday. -_-' goodness.
Its boring.

Really miss those times when my dear (xxNe369ZhAxx), bro (x3rudit3x5iN) & other
members were too free that we're always out on a saturday no matter how low out
cash flow are.
Its just a dream that will never come back to me.
Just have to cherish those times when they're free & able to go out.
Can't believe my life is getting pathetic at my age. Instead of spending those last few
moments before National Service, I'm rotting like a dog at home with my own chain around my neck.

Yawn..

Can't stop thinking about the past. (;

....

Not being able to see you is possible,
Not able to have that feeling is currently impossible.
Just need time to let that feeling fade.
Miss those times together.

'We're not fated to be together'

I don't believe in fate, I only believe in what can be done.
It takes 2 hand to clap. Fate has nothing to do with it.
Just communication & alittle luck.
Perheps its time to put the past into a memento stat & carry on with my life.
No one can't live without another's perserveance.
I glad that you're found a better guy to be with & not getting upsad when you're with me.
I wish you all the best & my blessings are with both of you.
Apperciate the past. Cherish the future.
I believe I can find happiness with another one like you do.
Hope that person can appear with all the love she got.

....

Off to bed! Its 5am & I need some good rest for tomorrow's outing!
Toodies~

WITH LUCK, You'll see me or I'll see you there my princess. (;

2008-02-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

Being it if you're reading or not. I just felt like blogging after the incident.

If you think I'm spoiling your image, I apologize.
Thats what blogs are for, like you once said, vent your anger in blog.
I did that. Maybe I was harsh by saying those things.

Yes, I know we went our sperate ways, but that doesn't mean I can treat you as a friend totally.
With due respect, not insulting you.
Maybe to you, finding a new boyfriend is like just a blind of an eye.
I'm still trying to treat you as a friend. Not easy, but its for the best.

You're happy with your guy while I'm currently quite okay with my life.
I don't see why should we give each other cold shoulders just because of what happened
in the past.
Can say I'm being a coward, thats why I choose to apologize. Be it.
No more gangsterism. No more turning back to what I used to be in the past.

I thank you again for what was given by you onto me last 2 months.
For the sweetest month I ever had in my entire life. Its great to have that kind of feeling
even thou its just a month.

I thank you for bringing me back to reality
I thank you for what I am now.
For the words you once said, every word of it has a proper meaning.

Once a police officer told me.
Argue with your beloved girlfriend, they can report you for molest.
Thats the adventage for girls.
As for guys, the law doesn't give a shit about you,
but to the girl whom loved you,
a sincere sweet smile will do just the thing :D

.......

back to life
7days to chinese new year.
45days to happy birthday. xD

Thought twice about it, wanted to ask my mom to give me the cash instead of the chalet. ;x
But, its my 18th birthday.
Oh my gosh, its a MUST celebrate. xD
I hope it will be a memory celebration. Close friends pleaseeeeeee come~
Let me have a happy 1 day moment.

Yawn, didn't attend school for quite sometime.
Only went for 2nd lesson. I'm so confuse now.
Totally confuse, I don't know what to do. But its not about her. (;
Just my life. I'm so worried. Is it obivous? o.O
I hope not.

WELL, thats all for now. Before I start to let things turn into a too obivous way.
Toodies D;

2008-01-31T00:47:00.000+08:00

Yawns.

Downloading mapleStory. Fucked up error. Thanks to the auto clicker.
Cause me so many problems. SMS-ed the fucker Xaft to come msn to help me settle it.
Found another helpful friend. Glad to know him even thou his a little fucked up at times =x

Bored, watching YouTube, chatting with my princess, watching TV. Multi-tasking.
lmao, fierce? o.O
Zzzzz still waiting for installer to be done. Kill some time with this blog.

O.O oh my gosh, friend just told me tomorrow's morning lesson is gonna be a talk about
our 1 year course. sigh, not gonna attend. I hate theory, they put me to sleep very easily.
So, just another day. Gonna burn some night candles. Watch YouTube, play dota? perheps.

-brb- finally installer done xD

back ! :D thanks for waiting! much apperciated.
didn't thought of posting any thing today till this evening when my hot grandmama chat with me.
She asked me something that made me abit fucked up for a moment.
' ni de nu peng you wei shen me mei you lai le? '
Replied : mei you le la, ta ai shang bie de nan ren le.
Grandma : haas. tsk tsk. bo wei kong.
Replied : mai kong lor.

Heard my oldest cousin Jeremy(mother's side) went into mental hospital. =( sad.
He was the smartest amount all of my cousins. Well, my mother side of course.
Heard he saw 'something' in the toilet, it was horrible.
He went insane & starting to bang his head against the wall. Bleed alot.
Felt sad for him, cried when I heard about this incident.
Admitted into mental hospital for a week or so. He wasn't himself.
Mumbling to himself & staring into blank air time & again.
My 2nd closest cousin. My heartaches for him. I don't like it when stuffs like this happened.
Pray for him. Hope for the best.
Get well soon Jeremy!

HAHA. I look fucking ridiculous in this picture xD

Myself, Joey, Jeremy! Cousins <3

2008-01-30T02:20:00.000+08:00

Photo editted by Stephanie. Simple & sophisciated.

Yawn, tuesday.

Woke up late for school. Wanted to go for 2nd lesson, but it was pouring outside.
So yeah, went back to dreamland to enjoy life inside.

Dreamland. aww, a wonderful place to be in. No worries, no touble, no problems.
Just me & her. Nonetheless, it won't last for long.
Left dreamland at 4pm. Goodness. How am I gonna sleep now.
Its only 2.14am. Just finish clocking with guildmember.

Oh my gosh, I miss playing hermit. Don't know if I should share account
with my guildmate. Dark Knight is fun too, once you hit 4th job.
Thinking.. totally no clue which to play.

Thou maple is getting outdated, login just to kill time. Some say its a childish game.
But somehow, the ' childish ' game is where I found some new friends.
Those who stood by me when I was down. Some are just fucked up. But who cares.
Till then, I guess I'll just stick to maple for now.

Next week is chinese new year. Woot, ang bao, money come money come.
Will use it all up before feb. Got money = SPEND ! shopping.
Being quite awhile since I last went shopping. Lifeless at home.
I'm totally broke this week. Gonna dig out some money to go out soon.
3days to saturday. Wonder what would this saturday outing be. & with who.

I'm bored, restless. I need someone to kill time with me.
Not used being alone at this lonely hours. Not complaining, just my thoughts.
I would rather suffer alone then get back with her & suffer more.
She looks exactly like the girl who was once with me, but I don't know who is she.
Personality of hers has change alot.

Overwhelmed by those remakes friends have given me, I decided to put it into a memento.
No point going back to someone who has change to a person that I don't wish to be with.
I'll just wait for the right girl to come into my life.
Critical moments at this point of age. Seeking for love, yet not ready for the suffering.
It takes 2 hand to clap.

Love her,
Doesn't love me, it just don't make a sound.

I'm surrounded by morons & childish kids.
Its high time I join back my old group. Mature & understanding.
Less confusion & hearing stuffs like ' bored, what to do now '
Thou with mature groups. Outing is boring, but I like it.
Don't do much walking, just talking & drinking.
Peaceful.

She puts the bait. Bite or not to bite. Will the hurtful feeling be back?
Or is she just playing ? Is being in a relationship a challenge or is it suppose to be beautiful?
Question.

- my dear,

Naggy is good. One day when you're fully awake from your nightmare, you're thank me. ;x
Just look for a way to forget him will ya. You're only torturing yourself.
His happy, while you're upsad & disappointed.
Life isn't suppose to be this way. Its for you to experience & learn. Not stick to that piority.
You're practically wasting your pericous youth.
Cheer up. Look forward, I'm sure you're find a better boyfriend in future who will
cherish you more then you cherishing him.
Thats the kind of advice I can only give you. The rest is up to you.
& advice is what you ask for, knowing the answer is the same as yours, you just hope it wasn't true.
but, the truth hurts. Accept it, face it, remove it from your life.
You still got friends around you, it hurts them more then it does to you looking at the current stat you are facing.

...

Off to shower, its time to dream about the future & whom I should choose to be with! :P
Thou theres no chance. I'll just enjoy it while I still can.